Collard Greens with Rib Tips (Southern Speciality)!

Collard Greens.  They're "hit or miss" with most folks, you love them or you hate them.  Most Southerners love them, and for good reason!  They're cheap, easy to grow, low calorie, and when cooked properly... they're super tasty!  If you haven't tried them, there's no better time than the present.  Let's do this!

Collard greens are best when slow-cooked with pork.  Ham hocks, salt pork, rib skirts, pork shoulder or picnic, any tough part of the pig will do.  For this recipe, I chose Rib Tips because I had a big ol' bag of them in the freezer!

You will need:

• A mountain of Collards (2lbs or roughly 5 or 6 handfuls)
• 2lbs Rib Tips or Rib Trim
• 1.5 Quarts Chicken Stock
• Pork dry rub
• 1 Jar pickled sliced jalapenos

I believe that most folks aren't familiar with these greens because they're aren't the easiest vegetable in the world to prep.  Think of a stalk of broccoli for example, you literally cut them out of your garden and toss them into a steamer or eat them raw with veggie dip!  Collards?  Not so much... I mean, just look at them!  They're unwieldy and super duper dirty due to the way they grow.  Let's clean them up!

Start by picking off all of the leaves, then laying them out on your cutting board, one at a time.  Use a sharp knife to slice the leafy parts away from the stems, as shown.  Toss the stem in the garbage and lay the leaves into a sink of clean cold water.  As these things grow, the dirt they collect falls from the leaves into the bulbous "bowl" of stems at the base.  Like Spinach, they just seem to collect 10x more dirt than any other vegetable.  It's shameful, really... Repeat this process for all of the leaves, and give them a good shaking while they're submerged in the water.  Drain the water and repeat, just to be sure!  Sandy greens are terrible so do it!

When you have a pile of clean green leaves, use a salad spinner or shake the excess water off of them.  Lay four or five of them on top of each other as shown.

Roll them up tightly into a cylinder, from right to left, so that looks like a fat cigar.

Slice the "cigar" into nine or ten portions, then slice one time length-wise (Left to Right) so that each portion gets cut in half.  

You'll end up with a pile of short ribbons of greens.  Repeat this process until you're out of leaves.  You should end up with a huge pile of bite-sized squares.  

Congratulations, you're ready to actually start cooking!!  Pre-heat your oven to 325 and go get your best Dutch-oven!  Make sure your oven racks are set so that the pot can sit there on a rack, unmolested.  You may just want to take the top rack out altogether because you'll need to take your pot back out of the oven at some point, and you don't want to be encumbered. 

Toss in your rib tips.  Shake on a good pork dry rub and some olive oil.  Stir it all around and around until all of the meat is coated well.  Turn up the heat to medium-high and let them brown.  Flip them over to brown the other side.  When everything is nice and brown and steamy, pour in enough chicken stock to just barely cover the the meat.

Pour in the jar of jalapenos, juice and all!  Do NOT forget the juice... Without vinegar, Collard greens are basically weeds.  Somehow, vinegar is the elixir that brightens Collard greens and brings their hidden flavor profile to the main stage!  It won't hurt the pork either, it's KEY to the dish so do it!

Stir it all together and let it sit there on medium-high heat until a strong simmer and bubble happens.  Then, put the lid on nice and tight and slide the whole pot into the oven (325F).  Close the oven lid and let your pot sit in there and wonder about the world for two hours.  NO, I have NOT forgotten about the greens.  Patience....

When two hours is up, take the Dutch-oven back out and put it back on to the stove top.  Add the greens and season them with some garlic powder and maybe some of your pork rub.  Put the lid on, turn the heat on medium-low, and walk away for ONE hour.

After an hour is up, the greens will not be done, but they'll be ready for their first stir.  Stir them gently and get them mixed together with the pork.  Magical things are happening now!  Note how much reduction we've gotten from the greens after just one hour!  Put the lid back on and let them simmer for another 20 minutes.  Stir.  Repeat for another 20 minutes.  HUZZAH!

Taste... Season if necessary, scoop into a bowl and serve!!  I've eaten a lot of canned collard greens in my day, and they're ok, but this?  This is FANTASTIC!  Well worth the effort...

Smoked Cross-cut Beef Ribs (Thick!)

When it comes to ribs, butchers can cut them so many ways that you can get lost in them.  Short ribs, Flanken, Baby-back, Korean, St. Louis, Dino, the list seems endless.  For my money, I tend to go with the biggest rack of ribs I can find!  When it comes to Beef ribs, I like to buy the entire plate (rack) of short ribs and smoke them like traditional pork ribs.  It's difficult to find a whole plate of beef ribs because butchers are cutting these racks horizontally, across the bones, into thin strips called "Korean" or "Flanken" ribs.  I detest the very idea of these paper-thin ribs!  They are often fried or stir-fried and they fly in the face of traditional BBQ, but.........

Recently a friend of mine found some very VERY thickly cross-cut beef ribs!  Just look at them!  The marbling is fantastic.  Clearly we need to get these onto the smoker...

You Will Need:

• A full "plate" of beef short ribs, cross-cut into 2.5 inch slabs
• Yellow Mustard
• Your favorite hot-sauce
• Beef Rib Rub, equal parts of:
• Kosher Salt
• Coarse Ground Black Pepper
• Light Brown Sugar
• Smoked Paprika
• Chipotle Chili-Powder
• 1 Cup Apple Cider Vinegar
• 1 Cup Juice from a jar of candied or pickled Jalapenos
• Your favorite BBQ Sauce

First, we prep!  There's a membrane on the back of a beef rib that should be removed.  Lots of places leave the membrane on, I get it.  It's extra work, especially if you're a restaurant that serves hundreds of them every day.  BUT, It keeps your rub and the smoke flavor from penetrating the meat, and your belly can't digest so in my kitchen, it HAS TO GO!  Just insert the point of your knife under it, grab it with a paper towel and strip it right off.

Next, we rub!  Mix your mustard with your hot sauce and stir it together, then spread some on all sides of the ribs. Shake on a fairly generous amount of your rub.  Set it aside while you tackle the other ribs.  

Once you have each rib section slathered and rubbed, you'll want to take the time to wrap each one tightly in plastic wrap.  This is one of my "secrets" that I always do while I leave the meat on the counter to come up to room temperature.  It gives the spices in the rub a chance to mingle with the liquid in the mustard and make a "goo" that starts to penetrate the meat.  Leave the plastic covered rib sections there to contemplate their future for a few hours while you pre-heat the pit.

Once the BBQ pit is pre-heated to about 250 degrees, lay the cross-cut sections out on the grate (don't forget to cut away the plastic)!  Close the lid and walk away for 90 minutes.  When 90 minutes is up, you should see the meat starting to slightly pull away from the rib bones.  This is perfect, good things are happening!  

Place the slabs into an aluminum pan and pour in the vinegar and Jalapeno juice!  Don't be afraid to pour it right on top of the slabs.  Cover the whole thing as tightly as you can, pinching the seams and edges.  The liquid will simmer and create a flavorful steam that will aid in the cooking process.  It will also create a bit of pressure that will help break down all of that chewy collagen.  You'll be on your way to "Tender Town!"  Close the lid, check your fire, and leave the foil pan in there for one hour.

Time to reveal the goodness!  Open the lid on your aluminum pan and gaze upon what you have created!  Gently move them back onto the rack in the grill and brush on your favorite BBQ sauce.  We'll "set" the sauce by leaving them in the pit for another hour.  I use a Cherry Bourbon BBQ sauce of my own creation... more on that, later.

Finally!  After an hour, the sauce should be set, and it should darken a bit.  I moved the slabs to a cutting board so I could slice between the bones to make bite-sized portions.  Ok... maybe the "bites" are a bit over-sized?  We can call them "Multi-bite-sized portions" if it makes you feel better, but aren't they just the cutest things??  

Each one has a small bone "handle" to grab.  They were absolutely incredibly delectable!  They were super tender, delightfully sticky, full of "Big Beef" flavor, and a unique BBQ dish to enjoy!

UNBELIEVABLE Hot Chocolate!

Now and again, we all feel the urge to cheat on a diet.  I'm not talking about sneaking a few M&Ms, either.  I'm talking about an all out assault on any effort to champion fat free vegetables over fat laden goodies!  When, out of sheer spite and malice, you're ready to pour an amazing elixir of whole fats, sugar, cream, chocolate, and more cream into your face, you're ready for homemade chocolate eggnog!  It's better than melted ice cream...

 
You Will Need:

• 1 Cup Whole Milk
• 1 Cup "Full Fat" Eggnog
• 1/3 Cup Milk and Dark Chocolate Chunks, chopped for melting
• 2 Tbsp Unsweetened Cocoa
• 1 Tbsp Sugar
• However much Whipped Cream and/or Marshmallows you feel is "Enough" 

Ok, any feelings of guilt, remorse, shame, embarrassment, or humiliation you may be harboring, just get rid of them now. Seriously, it's the Holidays and you've earned this one.  If it helps, find a way to kick the rest of your family out of the house, turn on the fireplace, and put on your fluffy Grinch slippers because for the precious moments you sip this miracle, you'll be transported to a special happy place that might be best enjoyed alone.

Put all of the dry ingredients into a small pot.  When it comes to the chocolate, let your conscience tell you how much milk/dark chocolate to use.  You could go full dark, or half and half, I'm not here to judge!  I'm here to help... Pour in the whole milk and set the heat to Med-Low.  Begin to stir.  This will take a little while and you do NOT want it to burn so just stir and wait.  Think about how it's actually FAIR that you decided not to send Aunt Karen a gift this year!  Think about the joy of skipping your neighbor's kid's recital...

When the mixture is smooth and melted, pour in the eggnog and stir a few more cycles just to heat everything through.  Gently pour it into an appropriate Holiday tankard, mug, or chalice.  Cover it with fresh whipped cream or marshmallows and retreat to your happy place.

Merry Christmas!!! 

Beef Wellington (Re-visited)!

I've made Beef Wellington in the past, and it's a very impressive looking dish!  I am convinced, however, that while it's delicious; it just isn't as good as it looks or as the work you have to put into it.  If only it were easier!?  Well, I tried a new version of this dish for Men's Night last week, and the fellas were only too happy to be my guinea pigs!

This dish is still a bit challenging (I give it a 7/10 for "time and trouble"), but it was worth it!

You Will Need: 

• 4 8oz Beef Tenderloin Filets
• 1 Large Pack of Whole Portabella Mushrooms
• A few Tablespoons of Yellow Mustard
• Several Slices of Prosciutto 
• Several Thin Slices of Bacon
• 6 Cloves of Fresh Garlic
• 1 Stick of Butter

This recipe starts with the mushroom "Crumble."  Simply dice your 'shrooms into the tiniest bits you can (I used a food processor and pulsed them into oblivion), and cook them with the butter and garlic (and maybe some red wine) until the liquid reduces and they're delicious.  Set them aside to cool.  Once they've cooled, they'll have the consistency of couscous or mashed potatoes; this is a GOOD thing!

Now; grab of your filets and brush some yellow mustard onto the top and sides.  This is the "glue" that will hold the mushroom crumble. It will cook away, so don't worry about it!  It's entire job is to help stick the shrooms to your meat.  I had doubled this recipe and I was working with 8 filets.  Your mileage may vary...

Here's the "fun" part; using your fingers, grab up some mushroom crumble and press and moosh it all up and around your filet.  You can see in this picture that I was working the filet while it was sitting on a slice of prosciutto.  This is key to the next step...

Here's your goal!  You want to get the filet coated with shroom goop, wrapped tightly in a sheet of prosciutto, and then wrapped in bacon!  Don't worry, it's gets easier as you go.  

Once all of your filets are wrapped, place them onto some plastic wrap and roll/wrap them up SUPER tightly before parking them in the fridge. Leave them in the fridge for a few hours (or even overnight).  The object here is to use the chill air to firm these up into tight little balls that stay together.  

When it's time to cook (not before), take the steaks out of the fridge and unwrap them.  You'll notice a huge difference in their desire to stay firm and wrapped!  Working quickly, place them on the "cool" (indirect) side of a solid fire in your grill OR place them into a pre-heated smoker at 300 degrees F. 

I cooked mine to an internal temperature of 115 degrees, then I seared each one of them over the direct flames on the HOT side of the smoker's firebox, just to add a nice crust.

They were amazing.  Slicing them open revealed a true Medium-Rare center and a nice ring of mushroom paste. The salty prosciutto gave it a perfect balance and the bacon, well?  Who doesn't love bacon?

Easy "One Pan" Roast Chicken & Veggies

 Don't we all want something that's "Restaurant Quality" and easy at the same time?  Something that doesn't require the washing of a bunch of pots and pans?  Well, THIS IS IT!

How about a whole roast chicken dinner with vegetables for 4 or 5, with no washing at all?  Let's do this!!

You Will Need:

• 1 Whole "Frying Hen" (3-5lb chicken)
• Your Favorite Chicken Seasoning 
• 1 9x13 pan
• 4 or 5 handfuls of coarsely cut vegetables 

Set your oven to 375F.  If your oven has a "Roast" or "Convection Roast" setting, this is the perfect recipe for it, so I recommend that setting if you have it.  Also, look at the label on the packaging for your chicken.  Make a note of what he weighs.  He'll cook for 15 mins per pound so you'll need to do some math.  For example if it weighs 4.8lbs, 4.8 x 15 = 72 so he'll cook for 72 minutes.  

Take out a 13x9" pan and cover the bottom and sides with some heavy-duty foil.  Use two layers if you accidentally split it when you're pushing it into the corners (I hate that)!  Take your time here, because it will save you having to wash it in the sink later!  Now cut and fill the pan with a bunch of vegetables.  It doesn't matter what kind, as long as they fill the pan.  I used zucchini, yellow squash, red onions, carrots, broccoli, cauliflower, tomatoes and jalapenos!  Cut them coarsely and just dump them in!  Season with salt & pepper to taste.  Resist the temptation to drizzle any oil over them, because that's what the chicken is for...

So far, so good right?  Now grab your chicken and rinse it in cold water.  If you have any "misgivings" about handling raw chicken, now is the time to get over it!  Take a deep breath and get some shears and cut the backbone out of the chicken.  I like to eat the backbone so I put mine on the left side of the veggies, in the pan.  Spread the chicken out so his arms and legs are splayed in such a way that he looks like he's doing some "jumping jacks!"  Congrats, you've "Spatchcocked" a chicken!  Lay him across the pan on top of your vegetables.

Grab your favorite seasoning and sprinkle it all over the top.  You can use a good BBQ rub, Poultry seasoning, Cajun Seasoning, whatever.  Personally, I like Tony Chachere's Creole seasoning for this.. You do you!  Now slide the whole pan into the oven and set a timer for 15 mins per pound (or to in internal temp of 165 if you're using a thermometer probe.  I recommend the probe if you have one).

When it's done, your kitchen will smell terrific and all you have to do to serve is pull the pan out of the oven, use your sheers to cut the chicken into however many pieces you want, and use some tongs to scoop everyone a healthy portion of veggies!   The chicken fat helps marinate and cook the vegetables, they'll be "roasty" and juicy and delicious!  The chicken will be great and juicy as well.  Once everything is gently removed from the pan and onto plates, pull the foil out of the pan and if you've been fairly careful, the pan will be clean and ready for the next chicken!

Super Easy Blackberry (or Blueberry) Cobbler

So after our annual volunteer Pancake Breakfast, I found myself staring at a huge bag of leftover blueberries.  What to do.... Then it hit me, COBBLER!  Oh yes, Blueberry Cobbler!  I only had about an hour before the fellas showed up for Men's Night and BBQ so I had to do this quickly:

You Will Need:

• 2.5 Cups Berries (Blueberries, Blackberries, Raspberries, they all work)
• 1 Cup Sugar
• 1 Cup Flour
• 1 Cup Whole Milk
• 1 Stick Unsalted Butter (melted, then cooled slightly)
• 2 Tsp Baking Powder
• 1/2 Tsp Salt
• 1 9x9 deep dish baking pan
  

This recipe is super easy, but you can't take shortcuts.  Sorry!  Here are the steps:

1. Preheat your oven to 375 degrees F.
   
2. Get yourself a decent sized bowl with a tight lid (tupperware works) and dump in your berries and sugar.  Gently stir, put on the lid, and shake and roll it gently to get everything mixed together.
3. Park the bowl in the corner of your counter at room temperature for at least an hour.  Yes, an HOUR!  The sugar needs to chew up the berries a bit, and then dissolve. When the sugar is gone and you have a bowl of berries in syrup, you can proceed to step 4.
4. Whisk together the flour, powder, and salt.
5. Add the milk to the flour mixture and whisk it together until it looks like thick cake batter.
6. Add the melted butter and whisk to incorporate. 
7. Smear some butter around the bottom and sides of your pan and pour in the flour mixture.  Get it ALL in there!  Use a silicon spatula if necessary.
8. Pour the berry mixture over the top of the flour in the baking pan, and use a spoon to gently stir and mix it around.   BE GENTLE!  Your goal here to get a mix of batter and berries that's fairly even.  Don't stir it all into a big purple goo...
9. Now Bake for about 40 minutes.  The top will be nice and golden brown.
10. Scoop out a portion and dump some vanilla bean ice cream over the top.

MY OH MY, SHO' AM GOOD!!!  Look at that, exactly ten steps!  We can call this, Ten-step cobbler...

Steak Oscar

Want to take "Steak Night" up to a "Whole 'Nutha Level!?"  Steak Oscar is easier than you think!  Traditional Steak Oscar involves a grilled steak, topped with a lump of crab meat and some asparagus, then smothered in hollandaise sauce.  I threw in a couple of curve balls... Let's do this!

You Will Need:

• One 8-10oz Beef Tenderloin Medallion (Filet Mignon)
• Some large raw shrimp
• A heap of raw fresh spinach (washed)
• Two Tbsp bacon fat
  
• Two Egg Yolks
• 1 Stick butter, cut into small cubes or pieces
  
• 2 Tbsp Water
• 1 Tbsp Lime
• 1/2 Tsp Salt
• 1/2 Tsp Chili powder

For the steak:

I like to use a Filet Mignon for this dish, and I like to reverse sear it.  You can grill it any way you want, as long as it's Medium Rare (I'm kidding, you can grill it to Well Done if you want, just promise not to tell me about it).  For me, Medium Rare is an internal temperature of 120 degrees.  AS SOON AS IT TOUCHES 120, take it off the heat and wrap it foil to rest.

For the shrimp:

Marinate your shrimp in some olive oil, lime juice, and some creole seasoning, for about an hour in the fridge.  When the steak is nearly done, drop the shrimp right on the grill grates and flip/stir them until they're done.  This happens quick... 3 or 4 minutes should do the trick.

For the Spinach:

Heat up the bacon fat in a large skillet, over medium-high heat.  Drop the spinach in and use tongs to flip and stir it around.  As soon as it wilts, take it off the heat!!  If you cook it too long, it will just get soggy and mushy, so err on the under-done side if you have to.

For the Hollandaise:

I do this sauce last because it's finicky and it doesn't like to sit, all alone, in a pot on the stove.  Take the smallest sauce pot you have and whisk two egg yolks with two tablespoons of water until you have a uniform frothy mixture.  Put it on the stove and set the heat to medium-low. Add the butter, and keep whisking while the butter melts.  Do not go anywhere, do not allow anyone to distract you, do not focus on anything except for the sauce!  Whisk and whisk and when the butter is melted, add the tablespoon of lime juice and the salt and chili powder.  Continue to whisk until the sauce has the consistency of gravy.  Serve immediately...

Assembling the dish:

Place your steak in the middle of a nice plate.  Arrange three nice shrimp on top of the steak.  Use your tongs place a lump of spinach on top of the shrimp, then ladle a portion of the hollandaise sauce over all of it!  Make sure it drips over everything!  Serve....