Perfect Charcoal Grilled Chicken

Grilling individual pieces of chicken to perfection, over an open flame, isn't easy.  It LOOKS easy, but it's tricky!  Think to yourself, "How many pieces of BBQ chicken have I eaten where the cook was hiding the burnt skin with extra BBQ Sauce?"  We've all been there...

Great grilled chicken doesn't have to be hard.  I have tricks to get your bird perfectly seasoned and cooked to perfection!

You Will Need:

• "Instant Read" probe thermometer
• Anywhere from 8 to 14 pieces of Chicken
• Olive Oil
• Dry Rub: equal parts of each, mixed, and put into a shaker:
• Kosher Salt
• Ground Pepper
• Paprika
• Chili Powder
• Brown Sugar
• Garlic Powder

The first step is easy.  Rinse your chicken with cold water, and pat each piece dry with a paper towel, then dump them all into a large bowl.  Wash both of your hands (I'm not kidding, it's important), and make a mental note to make your dominant hand your "chicken hand" and the other hand your "clean hand." 

Now, use your CLEAN hand and grab a bottle of olive oil.  Pour some over the chicken, and use your Chicken Hand to spread and mix the olive oil all over the chicken pieces.  You'll be tempted to use both hands, but do NOT!  If you do, you'll just cross-contaminate the rest of your chicken and you'll be left to sanitize everything or to just get sick... neither of which are any fun.  When all of the chicken is lubricated, use your clean hand to shake the dry rub over the chicken and use your chicken hand to turn and mix all of the pieces until everything is coated evenly and fully.

Now, use your clean hand to get a large zip-top bag.  Dump all of the pieces into the bag with your chicken hand, squeeze as much of the air out as possible and seal it up.  Place the bag onto the counter with your clean hand and wash your hands, the bowl, the counter top, and anything else that you accidentally touched with your chicken hand!  THEN it will be safe for you to grab the bag and park it in your refrigerator to marinate overnight, or for at least 4 hours.

Ok, when it's time to cook, or when you're just so hungry that you can't leave the chicken in the fridge for one more minute, take the bag of chicken out, and leave it on the counter while you go build a fire.  You want to get enough charcoal going to fill half of your grill space.  Slice the grate to the opposite side of the fire.  NOTICE, I shoved all of my coals to the side with the air intake!  You want the coals to stay HOT!  Close the lid and let the interior pre-heat for about 20 minutes.

Now get your bag o' chicken and some tongs.  Head out to the grill, open the lid, and lay the pieces out on the COOL side of the grate.  Breasts should go "bone side down."  Now, close the lid again and walk away for ten minutes.  What you have going here is basically an oven.  You're "baking" the chicken but instead of an electric heating element, you're using charcoal.  Note the picture, it is no coincidence that I have the bigger pieces closer to the fire, and the smaller pieces a bit further away... After ten minutes, open the lid, flip the chicken over, close the lid, and walk away again, for another ten minutes.

When the chicken has had a chance to bake for 20 minutes, it should be well on its way to being done.  Take its temperature with the probe and remember my mantra, "Chicken is done at 165 degrees; it begins its journey to Burnland at 166!"  With this in mind, slide the pieces directly over the fire.  Do NOT walk away anymore!  Keep an eye on them, turn them over frequently so the skin doesn't burn, and take their temps once in awhile.

Your goal here is fairly simple.  You want to develop a nice amber crust on the chicken skin but you don't want it to turn black.  You also want each piece to match 165 degrees before you remove it from the fire.  So, pay attention to your hot spots, your probe, and above all, your NOSE!  Get your face over the grill, close your eyes, concentrate, and smell it.  You should smell roasting spices, chicken, and smoke,  You should sense some chili heat and steam.  You should NOT smell burning sugar or burnt chicken!  This is best accomplished with tongs in one hand and a cold beer in the other.. move the pieces that are nearly done to the cold spots and keep the bigger pieces close enough to the fire to cook, but far enough away not to burn.  You got this!!  whatever you do, resist the temptation to slather everything with BBQ sauce until maybe the very end.  Sauce has sugar, sugar burns, and you want the chicken skin to be exposed to the fire so it will get crispy!

In the end, your patience and skill will be rewarded with juicy chicken that is flavorful, and with skin that is crispy and easy to bite through!  Garnish with some of your favorite BBQ sauce that's been warmed on the stove or on the grill.

This happens to be my wife's favorite dish, out of everything I've ever cooked at the house; so we have it more often than we probably should, but it's so damn good.... Don't be afraid to practice!

Shrimp Tacos, Avocado Salsa, and Spicy Skillet Adobo Sauce!

Who doesn't like tacos?  I like mine in soft homemade flour tortillas, and I lean toward fish or shrimp tacos if you're taking notes for my birthday... Everyone I know has a favorite taco, but very few folks take the time to make great tacos at home.  "Old El Paso Home Taco Kits" are still on grocery shelves, but I'm asking you today to consider putting it back, and walking over to the produce aisle... Make some tacos at home that would make your family, friends, and neighbors burst into tears, and sing praises to your name!

Let's turn the "Shrimp Taco" recipe up to ELEVEN!  What if we cooked the shrimp in a spicy pan rendered Adobo sauce?  What if we cooled the heat a bit by spiking some sour cream with Cilantro?  What if we loaded the whole thing down with a fresh avocado salsa??  Let's get started!

You Will Need:
For the Shrimp Adobo:

• 3lbs of #12 Shrimp, thawed and uncooked
• 1/2 Cup Olive Oil
• 1/2 Cup Chili Powder (Ancho or Chipotle homemade powder is best) 
• 1/4 Cup Garlic Powder
• 1/4 Cup Onion Powder
• Juice of Two Limes
• 1 Tbsp Cider Vinegar

For the Avocado Salsa:

• 2 Avocados (rough chopped)
• 2 Roma Tomatoes (diced)
• 2 Fresh Jalapenos (diced)
• 1 Small Red Onion (diced)
• Juice of 2 limes
• 1 Cup Cilantro (chopped)

For the Sour Cream:

• 1 8oz tub of sour cream
• 4 Tbsp chopped Cilantro

Let's start with the Shrimp.  Why did I start with a huge 3lb bag?  Well, mostly because Sam's Club sells them that way!  If you want to cut the recipe in half, feel free, but there's a significant amount of work involved here, and all of the ingredients keep in the fridge for awhile, so why not make a bunch?  Thaw out your shrimp, peel them, clean, de-vein, and rinse them in cold water.

Gather together the rest of the ingredients from the "Shrimp Adobo" section.  Do consider making your own chili powder... it makes an incredible difference, since chili powder loses it's "Punch" so quickly on the shelf.  Grocery store chili powder is almost useless!  Mix the oil, chili, garlic and onion, lime juice and cider in a bowl and mix mix mix!  Use a fork or a ball-whisk and do your best to bring it together.  It'll be thick!  It might "mace" you if you get your nose too close... just keep stirring and pressing until it looks like the picture.

Scoop it out over the shrimp.  It will look a bit like thick melted chocolate (it will NOT taste like chocolate)!  Carefully and slowly stir and mix it with your shrimp.  Use a big spoon or rubber spatula, but do NOT use your hands!  You don't want this stuff under your fingernails or stuck under your wedding ring! 

Scoop and stir until the Adobo sauce and the shrimp are well mixed.  Your brain will tell you, "This is ridiculous, this will never work, I've messed this up completely!"  NO!  Don't think that way!  All will be just fine... there's a secret weapon coming...

Dump all of the shrimp into a big plastic bag.  Press as much air out as you can, and seal the bag. Park it in the fridge for at least an hour (24 hours is better).

Now, turn your attention to the salsa.  This is super duper easy, just chop everything and slide it into a bowl.  Stir it together and add salt and pepper to taste.  Try it!  If you're standing there thinking, "Holy Crap, this is good, why don't I make this all the time??" Then you built it correctly.  Congratulations.

While you're in a good mood, chop some more cilantro and dump it into an 8oz tub of sour cream.  Mix.  You're welcome...

Ok, back to the Shrimp!  Take out a big, heavy skillet (cast iron works very well, here).  Lube the bottom with a bit of olive oil and crank it up to medium high.  Wait until the oil is hot (it will have a nice sheen to it) and dump in the shrimp.  Use some tongs to spread them around in an even layer around the pan.  Don't stop stirring!  Let them gather heat for about a minute.  When they're are roughly 1/2 cooked, it will be time to deploy the secret weapon!

When the shrimp are good and hot and you can smell the chili sauce (it gives off an amazing aroma after the heat hits it), pour on about 1/4 cup of water and stir!  Be careful, it will instantly boil and steam!  The water (secret weapon) does all kinds of great things.  First, it will boil and the steam will help finish cooking the shrimp.  Second, it will bring the Adobo sauce together! 

After 20 seconds or so, add another 1/4 cup of water.  Stir!  Repeat this until the sauce is to your liking.  For me, I ended up using about 3/4 cup water in total, and cooked everything for about 4 minutes total.  The whole process happens fairly quickly so stay on your toes! 

Once the shrimp are done, you may need to sample one (or four).  They should be tender, and gloriously spicy, without burning your face off!  Ok, we're almost at the finish line; time to build the taco!

Start with your favorite vessel.  If you prefer "Street" style, you'll need some small corn tortillas and while I'm not usually a soft corn tortilla fan, I find that they match really well with the Adobo sauce!  In this case, I used my old home-cooked flour torts.  Lay down a layer of sour cream, then line up some shrimp.  Top with your Avocado salsa and BAM!  You're kicking the neighborhood's ass with these tacos!

The spicy heat of the shrimp is tempered with the cool fats from the sour cream and the avocado.  Onions and Cilantro bring a nice crunch to the party and the whole thing together is just dynamite!

Shrimp Po' Boy

If you've been to New Orleans and you've feasted on fresh oysters, gumbo, Jambalaya, and crawfish etouffee, then I say, "Well done, good sir (or madam)!"  Hopefully, you also took the time to sample a shrimp po' boy!  "What's a shrimp po' boy," you ask?  Shame on you... A shrimp po' boy is only the greatest un-sung hero sandwich to come out of the Louisiana bayou!  Sadly, the further North you are when you order one, the more bland it becomes. 

To re-create an authentic, spicy, shrimp po' boy you need fresh shrimp, good homemade chili powder, gumption, and an ice-cold beer!  Let's get started!

You will need:

• 1 lb fresh raw/uncooked shrimp, 20-25 size works very well
• 2 Heaping Tbsp smoked paprika
• 2 Heaping Tbsp homemade chili powder
• 1 Tbsp creole seasoning or Seasoning salt
• 1 Heaping Tbsp garlic powder
• 1 Cup Flour
• 3/4 Cup Yellow Corn Meal 
• 2 Large eggs
• 2 Cups Whole Milk
• Hoagie Rolls
• Fresh tomato (sliced)
• Mayonaise
• Your favorite salad, lightly dressed and sliced thinly

Have a seat and open an ice-cold beer.  Take a sip and ponder with me, "Why fresh homemade chili powder?"  Well, nothing loses its "punch" faster than chili powder.  Chances are, the stuff you'll find on the spice aisle at the grocery store isn't much spicier or flavorful than wheat flour!  You're so much better off making your own!  I like to use dried Chipotle or Hatch Chili pods, but you can choose what suits you.  Click the link above for simple directions.  You're welcome!

Start by thawing out, cleaning, and peeling your shrimp.  I doubled the recipe and made two pounds, so I had about 40 large shrimp in my bowl.  Rinse them and drain the water.

Combine your paprika, chili powder, creole or seasoning salt, and garlic powder together in a bowl.  Use a fork to stir until well combined.  Keep your snoot away from the bowl, since good fresh chili powder can mace you a little bit!

Dump the whole load of spices onto your shrimp.  Stir and mix it all together.  It should seem like a LOT of spices.  It is!  Your shrimp should like like they just climbed out from under a red sandy beach.  Shrimp are tough, they can take it.

When they're completely covered with what seems like 2 or 3 coats of spicy goodness, transfer them to a zip-top bag and park them in the fridge for a few hours.

Meanwhile, mix the flour and cornmeal together in a bowl and set it aside.  Mix the eggs and milk together well, and set it next to the flour.  You're setting up a classic fry-station!  If you're a fan of this blog and you are thinking, "Whoa, Ken NEVER deep-fries anything," then you're almost right.  I rarely do.  An honest shrimp po' boy is worth the calories, the mess, and the lingering smell it leaves in your kitchen.  That should tell you something!

Working in batches of 3-5, drop your chili-coated shrimp into the milk mixture, then the flour/meal mixture and coat them well. 

When your basket has 5 shrimp in it, drop them into a 350 degree oil bath.  I used canola oil, just because it fries well, but peanut oil is a fantastic option too, if you don't mind the expense.

Let them cook for two minutes.  Shrimp cook very quickly so don't leave them in longer than that!

Dump the shrimp onto a wire rack with some paper towels under it to soak up the grease.  You want them to drain and cool a little bit.  Notice than they are a shade darker than "golden brown."  That's the chili powder doing it's thing!  They should be a redish colored golden brown!

When the shrimp are cooked and cooling, it's time to get ready to build your sandwich!  I split the hoagie roll in half and toasted the inside with some butter.  Just lay it face down in a pan with some melted butter in it, and let it toast for a minute or two!  Then, layer a healthy amount of mayo on the bottom (by "healthy," I mean "a lot," not "dietarily" healthy), add the sliced tomatoes, and then pile on as many shrimp as you can!  On the other side, heap on your salad/slaw.  Fold it in half, take a deep breath, squish it down a little, and DIG IN!  I know, I know... it's amazing, right?

Cooking Slab Bacon

While doing some routine shopping at Sam's Club the other day, I noticed that they now sell "UN-sliced Bacon!"  I stopped and for a moment, I thought the rapture may have just snapped me up and I was blissfully shopping in Heaven's Sam's Club, with Gabriel, Saint Peter, and somewhere in the offices above, Jesus was now in charge of the meat!

What's better than bacon?  Slabs of bacon.  Deliciously thick, honking, juicy, cubes and slabs of bacon.  Let's do it.

You Will Need:

• 1 2lb block of cured and smoked un-sliced bacon
• Heavy pinches of:
• Chili Powder
• Black Pepper
• Brown Sugar

Preheat your oven to 375 degrees F, and get out a heavy-bottom frying pan (cast iron is great for this).  "An oven and a pan," you say?  Yes, we're going to render a good bit of the fat out, then crisp up the edges!  Just... "Trust me!"  Start with your slab of bacon and cut them into cubes, roughly 1" wide.  This 2lb slab yielded 24 cubes so, you do the math when you break out your knife!

Now, take a regular cookie-sheet and spray it with non-stick cooking spray, add a layer of foil, then place a nice cooking rack on top of the foil.  If you don't have a cooking rack for your cookie-sheets yet, NOW is the perfect time to buy one!  Spray it with non-stick cooking spray too, or you'll spend the rest of the afternoon cleaning it... Arrange your bacon cubes on the rack as shown here.  Give them some space to breath and to embrace the heat!

Cook them for 45 minutes at 375F.  Notice that they're a lot smaller!  Some of them will topple over as they lose their fat.  Aren't they precious?  Also notice that you have a lot of bacon fat in the bottom of the pan... SAVE it!  This is "butter" for so many other dishes.  From soup, to cornbread, frying eggs, and a zillion other things, bacon fat is a miracle of nature.  God bless pigs!

Now, arrange your cubes in a pan.  Sprinkle your spices over the top and set the heat to Medium.  Let them sizzle over Medium heat for 20-25 minutes.  -OR-  Sliding the pan into a pre-heated smoker (200-225F) wouldn't be the worst idea either... You're looking for a nice crispy crust to form, that's not too brown.

When they're ready, carefully flip each one over and reduce the heat to Medium Low.  Let the other side crisp up for another 20 minutes or so.

"But Ken," you say, "That's almost an hour and a half to cook bacon!  Are you sure?"  Yes.  I'm sure.  These beauties are triple thick and you want to make sure the insides have had a chance to render their fat and to get all nice and juicy and piping hot.  You're working nice and slow here over fairly low heat.  You'll be just fine!

When time is mercifully up, slide your baby-slabs into a serving bowl and cover them with foil for a few minutes so they can rest and cool just a touch.  Then, bring this bowl to a pot-luck dinner or set it in front of your guests while you finish their main dish.  Bask, and dance a small jig as they praise you in songs of jubilee!  There will be much rejoicing... When Aunt Ruth brings her green jello casserole to Thanksgiving Supper this year, knock her skinny ass into the dirt with a huge bowl of bacon slabs.  You'll hear applause...

Chili con Queso Stuffed Monkey Bread

What if you made a big pile of "Monkey Bread" with yeast rolls?
And what if you stuffed each roll in the pile with Chorizo and Chili con Queso?!
And what if you served this ridiculous creation with an extra bowl of Queso for dipping!?!?!
That would just be downright "wrong," dirty, naughty, bad for you, fattening, and a wicked slap in the face to every diet on the planet, right???

Right!

So, let's get started!

You Will Need:

• olive oil
• 1.5 lbs fresh Jalapeno Sausage or Chorizo
• 1 yellow onion (diced)
• 2 red bell peppers (finely minced)
• 1 jalapeno pepper (finely minced, membrane and seeds included)
• 2 cups heavy whipping cream
• 1 1/2 pounds Yellow American cheese.  That's 24 slices, everyone knows this... :-)
• 1/2 pound Pepper Jack cheese (shredded)
• 1/2 stick unsalted butter (cut into 1/4-inch cubes, divided, plus extra for greasing)
• 1 (24-count) package frozen yeast rolls (thawed)

Ok, I need to give credit where it's due.  I saw this recipe on TV on a show called "The Chew."  Michael Symon was eating an obscenely cheesy roll and I stopped in my tracks to see, "What's THAT?"  So I tried it.  Here are my results.

First things first, you gotta make the queso!  Why first?  Because it needs to spend the night in the fridge to get stiff enough for you to stuff into the rolls.  So... cook the sausage in a pan and use whatever you have to chop it into a fine crumbly mixture.  I have this nifty ground meat chopper, but you can use whatever you got.  Drain the sausage and pour it into a bowl and set it aside.

Next, prep your veggies.  You basically need a super fine dice of your chilis, onions, etc.  Dump them all into your big spaghetti pot and saute them in some olive oil until they're soft.

Why use your big pot?  Well, once you start adding cheese and stirring it, things get pretty not.  Napalm hot.  You don't want a super hot hunk of half-melted cheese flying out of the pan and onto your arm.  So... give yourself some vertical room.

When the veggies are soft, add the cream.  Things will happen pretty fast from this point forward.  You don't want your cream to scald, so turn the heat down to medium, and get ready to add the cheese.

It helps a LOT if you have your cheese ready ahead of time!  Grab one or two slices at a time, and stir them in until they're melted into the mix.  It won't take long; before you know it, you'll be out of cheese and ready for the next step.

Stir and stir until, well, you know, it's "Queso!"  You may need to test it 5 or 6 times to be sure it's right.  Use chips, it's too hot for fingers!

Pour the cheese into two separate containers.  Why?  Because you'll use one to stuff the rolls with, and the other to serve as a dip with this magnificent creation!

Add your sausage to one of the cheese bowls and stir it in.  Then refrigerate them both for at least 3 or 4 hours.  Overnight is best.

Set your frozen rolls out an hour or so before you're ready to bake, and set your oven to 350 degrees.  Grease a Bundt pan with some butter and get started with the stuffing!  Stretch out a ball of dough and dump in a heavy tablespoon of the sausage-cheese mixture.

Pinch the edges together and BE SERIOUS ABOUT IT!  This little ball will want for all the world to come apart so; pinch hard and well, and often, until you have a nice round ball like this one.  Repeat, 24 times...

Toss your stuffed dough-balls into the Bundt pan and sprinkle your butter cubes on top.  Aren't they the cutest!?  Slide them into the oven for about 45 minutes.

When your house smells like Heaven and the rolls expand, eclipse the top of your pan, and turn golden brown, it's time to pull them out of the oven!

Let the pan sit, un-molested, for ten minutes.  Then, place a platter on top of the pan and quickly flip it over.  BE CAREFUL!  Things are hot, butter is slippery, etc.  You can do this, Wear a trusted pair of oven mitts, grip the edges of the pan and the platter firmly, and FLIP!  Slide the pan away and... VIOLA!  Cheese stuffed Monkey Bread! 

Re-heat the remaining cheese, and pour it into a bowl and set the bowl into the middle of the "tower."  The original recipe actually calls for the extra Queso to be poured directly into the hole!

While I am certainly capable of eating this entire thing, I didn't.  I actually set it out for guests and I walked away!  I was told that the last piece was still warm when it was eaten so, don't figure on this lasting too long...