Perfect Crock-Pot Roast

What's the first thing people cook when they buy a crock-pot?  Pot-roast, of course.  Let's face it, any "Schmo" with a crock-pot can assemble a pot-roast, and it would be edible.  Wouldn't you rather take a few extra minutes of time to include a few crucial steps that would turn an "edible" pot-roast into an "unforgettably tender and juicy" pot-roast?  Of course you would!

You Will Need:

• 1 Four to five pound Chuck Roast
• 3 Cups small round fingerling or new potatoes
• 5-7 Medium sized whole carrots, peeled and cut into 3" lengths
• 1 bag frozen pearl onions
• 1 Bottle of Pinot Noir or Cabernet Sauvignon (Very "Drinkable" but not too expensive)
• 2 Cups of quality beef broth
• 6 Whole cloves of garlic, crushed 

Disclaimer:  This recipe works for me because I think I have the largest crock-pot the average consumer can possibly get.  You may need to make adjustments, based on the size of your crock. Also, you may notice the plastic bag in this picture.  It's a crock-pot liner (my buddy Bill calls them "Crock-pot Condoms").  Don't knock them 'till you've tried them!  They enable you to clean your crock pot in less than ten seconds after the cooking is done!

Haul out your crock pot, add the liner, and dump in enough potatoes to cover the bottom.  Give them a very light coating of salt, and dump in your garlic, and maybe even a small handful of chopped green onions (if you're feeling "sexy").   

I'm just heart-broken that I can't find bone-in Chuck roasts anymore.  Bones are heavy, and they're eliminated in 99% of commercial shipments of beef nowadays, because we need to get that stock price up another penny or so, to satisfy Wall Street investors, right?  If you can't get your hands on a bone-in roast, go with a well-marbled Chuck that doesn't have a thick ribbon of fat running right through the middle.

Do not buy a Rump Roast, or a "Top Round" roast... Get "Chuck!"  It's from the shoulder.  Chuck roast is beautifully marbled with gobs of fat and connective tissue, two necessary ingredients to a flavorful juicy roast (I didn't say it was 'lean,' I said it was 'delicious!').  If it does have a bone in it, the bone will look like a number "7" (cross section of the shoulder blade).  Get the one with the longest "tail" on the 7 (that will be the closest to the neck, and more tender).  Generously salt all sides of the roast. 

Meanwhile, get a heavy pan (cast iron is best) and add some olive oil to the bottom and turn the heat to HIGH!  When it's super hot, lay in the roast and listen as it sizzles!  You want to put a nice brown crust on both sides, it should take about 4 minutes per side.  Use some long tongs to flip it over.  

Once both sides are brown, gently move it from the pan to the crock, laying it right in the middle, on top of the potatoes.  During the cook, the fat will render and precious juices will rain down over the potatoes, smothering them with goodness and wonder.  Using this method, the potatoes will soak up the flavor of the garlic, salt, meat juice, fat, wine, and they'll taste fantastic!  Potatoes should taste like flavorful potatoes and not like bland blobs that have to be covered with gravy to be eaten!

Do not worry if your roast stuck to your pan.  In fact, get excited when your roast sticks to the bottom of your pan!  Why?  "Fond!"  The French call the burnt crusty pieces of "Stuff" that sticks to the pan, "Fond."  We want the fond in our crock pot because there's a ton of alcohol soluble flavors in there so... how do we get alcohol soluble flavors to unlock themselves?  With Alcohol, of course!  Open your bottle of wine, take a sip, and get ready...

Pour about 1/4th of your wine into the pan.  Be careful, it will sizzle, pop, and steam!  Some of the alcohol vapor may catch fire as it leaves the liquid, don't worry, just wait a sec and it will burn itself out!  Stir it all around and scrape the bottom of the pan with a heavy spoon to break everything loose.  Keep the heat up!

Now, pour about 1/2 of the remaining wine into the pot.  Stir and cook it until it reduces a little bit.  When it's ready, pour the entire contents of the pan over the roast.  Notice now, that you have a healthy glass of wine left in your bottle... This is an excellent time to pour it into the nearest glass and to begin to drink it!  Things are going so well, you've earned it, and you'll need fortification to clean up your kitchen soon so, bottoms up!

Time to talk about carrots.  Do I really need to convince you to use "real" carrots, instead of those waxy carrot-pellet things?  Honestly, fresh carrots are tender, sweet, flavorful, they taste like carrots and they impart some sugars and great flavors to the roast.  Those waxy "Carrot Nuggets" you can buy don't have any real flavor at all.  Avoid them.  You'll thank me...

Peel and cut your carrots and arrange them around the roast.  I like to build a "Carrot Fence" around the roast.  It leaves plenty of room for the onions to go on top!  Once the carrots are in, its time to pour on the broth! 

Don't ruin this roast with weak, canned beef broth.  Use some quality bouillon!  I love this stuff!  It has little bits of actual beef in it, the flavor is hearty, and it doesn't bring too much salt to the party.  Plus, most grocery stores carry it, so it's easy to find... bonus!  Mix up a couple of cups and pour it over your roast, just until the wine/broth juice creeps up to 1/4 inch below the lip of the pot.  

Add a bag of frozen pearl onions, then season them with a bit of salt and pepper.  I like white pepper, and a bit of creole seasoning, but your mileage may vary.  

Turn the crock-pot on "Low" and walk away from it for 8 or 9 (yes, eight or nine) whole hours.  We're talking about 5lbs of beef here, not only do we want to cook it, but we also want to break down and render out the fat and connective tissues so... let the pot work it's magic!  After 8 hours, turn it down to "Warm" and leave it alone for another hour.  This will let it "rest" for a bit. When you're ready to serve it, gently take it out of the crock with a pair of tongs.  Be careful, it will probably fall apart.  Arrange it on a platter, and then arrange your vegetables around the edge.  Slice the roast coarsely across the grain so that people can serve themselves a portion (or two) using the tongs.  Pour a few ladles of Au-jus over the top, and carry it to the table!

Notice that there is no recipe for gravy, here.  If you did this correctly, your roast will be wonderfully tender and very VERY moist!  There should be no need for gravy.  After all, a roast should taste like, well, "Roast!"  It shouldn't taste like gravy...