Lobster Roll! or "When the Roll is Called up Yonder, I'll have Lobster!"

What's better than this?

At my house, "leftover lobster" is a bit of a myth.  It's just not available.  Ever.  It's like finding a Narwhal horn or a Walrus tusk while you're hunting for sand-dollars on a beach in Florida... NOT going to happen!  SO, when I buy Lobster, I ALWAYS buy an extra one, just to ensure I'll have enough to make a couple of Lobster Rolls the next day.   Why not?  They're AMAZING!  Let's get started:

You Will Need:

• 1.5lbs cooked lobster meat, coarsely chopped
• 1/2 Cup high-quality mayonnaise (check the top shelf at the grocery store)
• 1 Tsp Dill
• 1/2 Cup celery, chopped fine
• 3/4 Bundle, green onions, chopped fine
• Juice of 1 Lemon
• Hoagie Rolls, get them from the bakery!  Nice and crispy on top, soft in the middle

Ok, I'm certain that there are some Lobster Roll "purists" out there from Maine, Connecticut, Maryland, etc.  While I'm aware that there are rules in play, and that your recipes for Lobster Rolls differ from region to region just like your "Clam Chowdahs" do, I present my own recipe here; not to pay respect to one region or another, but simply to present what I think is a super delicious bad-ass recipe that tastes sensational.  Therefore... if you choose bring your uppity attitude from the East Coast with you today, you can dig up a fresh clam from your local beach and suck it!

This all starts with a couple of fresh lobsters.  Pick out a couple of lively lads and bring them home.  I like to work with lobsters that are at least 1.5lbs.  I'll grab 2lb ones if I can.  The bigger ones are easier to work with when it comes time to pluck the meat out.  Also, there's a bit of extra meat on hand for "snacking" while you assemble the dish so... look for the larger ones!

Goodness knows, I love to grill lobster!  But that's another show.  For this recipe, I think it's best to simply steam them.  Get a big pot ready and fill the bottom 2" with salted water and bring it to a boil.

If it bothers you a little when it comes time to say "Goodbye" to these creatures, it may help you to remember that they are fairly closely related to cockroaches.  Definitely more "bug" than "sentient being," they fail to tug on my heart-strings when it's time for them to be dispatched.  Just drop them in the pot and say, "Bye," and put on the lid.  It takes exactly 18 minutes to cook two 2lb lobsters in the steamer.  It's difficult to over-cook them in steam though, so you might want to go to 20 to be 100% sure.  While boiling can result in tougher meat, steaming is fairly bullet-proof.

Pull them out of the pot and let them cool.  Now, think about the presentation of your Lobster Rolls.  Are they for guests, or do you intend to simply build the sandwich and honk it down?  If important people are involved, it's a super nice touch to garnish the sandwich with a full, un-molested lobster claw.  Did you know that lobsters are left or right handed?  The larger crushing claw is the dominant hand.  Most are right handed, I guess I was lucky to get a southpaw!  Anyway, if you pull off the claw and give it a swift "Thwack" with the back of your knife, you should be able to gently pop the shell open and wiggle the claw meat out, whole (if you want).

The rest is easy!  Super easy!  Just extract the tail meat, knuckle meat, and any other meat you have the patience to pull out, and roughly chop it into course "small bite" sized pieces and toss it into a bowl.  Using a rubber spatula, gently add the mayo, and the other ingredients.  Stir and fold carefully, adding a bit of this or that as you see fit.  Park it in the fridge to marinate for at least an hour (better overnight).  When it's time to build the roll, grab a nice hoagie and slice it in half.  Use the "Bagel" setting on your toaster and toast just the inside.  Brush it with melted butter, then scoop on the Lobster Salad!  SOOO Good!  Even better with a nice crisp I.PA.

Prime Rib

"Prime Rib."  What else can I say?  Whether it's the Christmas Season or you were just really hungry, Prime Rib is an excellent choice for any party, and it's a lot easier than you might think!

If you've ever thought, "I can't manage such a huge chunk of meat," then think again!  If you've stumbled to this page via Google, then please... I implore you... just ONE MORE click!!

I want to cook a whole BONELESS rib.

I want to cook a whole BONE-IN rib.

Jalapeno Jelly

Different cooks and chefs specialize in different disciplines.  Me?  I'm a meat guy, without a doubt!  Give me an apron, a board, a cleaver, and a carcass and I'm right at home!  But mention "Pastry" or "Canning" to me?  You may see my left eye twitch a bit, and my grip tighten on my cleaver...

Nevertheless, I will occasionally try my best to bake a pie or to pickle some veggies.  Here lately, my wife convinced me to try and make some jelly.  Sweet/Hot jalapeno pepper jelly, to be exact!  Here's the result.

Now, I'll certainly write up this recipe, but I'm going to make some assumptions:

Assumptions:

• You have all of the equipment necessary to do some proper canning
• Sterilization pot with rack
• grippers
• canning funnel 
• jars, lids, rings
• You are aware of basic canning terms and procedures
• Sterilization
• Head Space
• Air removal

If you have all of these things and you're excited about getting your kitchen dirty and sticky in the name of GREAT pepper jelly, then read on!

You will need:

• 4 Cups of finely diced mixed jalapeno chili peppers
• 1 cup Apple Cider Vinegar
• 1.75 oz package powdered pectin
• 5 cups granulated white sugar
• 6 8 oz canning jars

"What kind of peppers," you ask?  (Yes, I heard you).  That depends.  I like my pepper jelly HOT so I use a mix of jalapenos, serranos, and a poblano or two.  This is entirely up to you!  Mix in a handful of Habeneros if you want!  I would say that my mix is 3 cups of Jalapenos and a cup of mixed banana peppers and other chilis off the vine from my wife's garden.

Instructions

Using your canning equipment, sterilize six 8oz canning jars and lids in boiling water.  Meanwhile, chop and dice your peppers into the tiniest chunks you can.  Wear gloves, or you'll regret it the next time you have to wipe your eyes or go to the bathroom!  When your cans and peppers are ready...

Place all of the peppers into a large saucepan and kick the spurs to HIGH heat.  Add the vinegar and bring to a boil.  Stir for a minute or two.  

Now, remove it from the heat just long enough to add the sugar and the pectin.  Stir to dissolve and return it to the heat.  Stir constantly over a rolling boil for two minutes, after the sugar and pectin have completely dissolved! 

Is everything sticky yet?  it will be.... 

OK, things get fairly "time sensitive" at this point... Quickly (but carefully) ladle the jelly into your jars.  Leave about 1/4" of "head space" at the top.  If necessary, wipe the rim of the jar clean and drop on a flat lid, then screw on the ring/band tightly.  Set it aside and repeat with the rest of the jars.

Now, place jars back into the canner with the hot water. Submerge the jars so that the water completely covers the lids.  Bring the water up to a boil and "process" the jars for a period of 5 minutes PLUS your high-altitude adjustment value.  So, for example, if you live at 6,800 feet of elevation like I do, you'll boil the jars for a total of 25 minutes.. If you're at sea level, 5 minutes of boiling should set you right.

Remove the jars and set them on a towel on the counter.  As they cool, the lids will POP down and seal them!  They should be set and ready for storage, distribution, and/or consumption by the next morning!

NOTE!  You may be tempted to "Double" this recipe.  DON'T DO IT!!  As nice as it would be to only have to bring out your canning hardware once for a double batch, science and chemistry are against you!  It is extremely difficult to get 3.5oz of pectin to heat/distribute properly and there's a 99% chance that your jelly won't set.  If you want Pepper Syrup, go for it.... but the smart money is on the one batch at a time!

Ahi Tuna Ceviche (Gasundheit)!

Looking for a super healthy appetizer or lite-lunch that is super tasty?  Look no further... The next time you spot some nice raw Ahi-tuna steaks at your local mega-mart, grab some up and make Ceviche!

"Ceviche" is a fancy word that describes the process of "cooking" (curing) raw seafood with citric acid.  ...and you thought all I did was BBQ?!

You Will Need:

• Olive Oil (1 heavy Tbsp)
• The juice from 2 large limes
• 1/3 cup red onion finely diced 
• 1/2 bunch of cilantro, roughly chopped (small)
• 1 Fresh jalapeno, diced
• 1 tablespoon toasted sesame OR jalapeño seeds
• 1/3 Cup Roma tomatoes, diced
• 12oz of sushi grade Ahi tuna diced into small cubes
• 1 avocado, diced
• Soy Sauce, salt, and pepper

This recipe could NOT be any easier, just do the following in order!

Glop the olive oil into a nice clean medium-sized bowl.

Add the lime juice, and stir. 

Add the onions.

Add the Cilantro.

Add the Jalapenos.

Add the Seeds.

Add the tomatoes and GENTLY stir, stir, stir!

Now, get out your sharpest knife and carefully cut your Ahi-steak into 1/4" cubes.  Trust me, this is so much easier with a sharp knife.  If your "best knife" is that rusty old thing with the faded wooden handle that you've run through the dishwasher a thousand times, you're due for an upgrade!

Dump the tuna cubes into the bowl and gently fold them into the mix.

The Avocados are last because they're so fragile.  Slide them in and gently fold them into the mix.

Finally, shake on a fairly generous amount of soy sauce.  Taste it.  Use regular salt and pepper to do any "fine tuning" if necessary!

Serve this goodness on little brioche toasties, good crackers, chips, or just eat it with a spoon!!