Shrimp Po' Boy

If you've been to New Orleans and you've feasted on fresh oysters, gumbo, Jambalaya, and crawfish etouffee, then I say, "Well done, good sir (or madam)!"  Hopefully, you also took the time to sample a shrimp po' boy!  "What's a shrimp po' boy," you ask?  Shame on you... A shrimp po' boy is only the greatest un-sung hero sandwich to come out of the Louisiana bayou!  Sadly, the further North you are when you order one, the more bland it becomes. 

To re-create an authentic, spicy, shrimp po' boy you need fresh shrimp, good homemade chili powder, gumption, and an ice-cold beer!  Let's get started!

You will need:

• 1 lb fresh raw/uncooked shrimp, 20-25 size works very well
• 2 Heaping Tbsp smoked paprika
• 2 Heaping Tbsp homemade chili powder
• 1 Tbsp creole seasoning or Seasoning salt
• 1 Heaping Tbsp garlic powder
• 1 Cup Flour
• 3/4 Cup Yellow Corn Meal 
• 2 Large eggs
• 2 Cups Whole Milk
• Hoagie Rolls
• Fresh tomato (sliced)
• Mayonaise
• Your favorite salad, lightly dressed and sliced thinly

Have a seat and open an ice-cold beer.  Take a sip and ponder with me, "Why fresh homemade chili powder?"  Well, nothing loses its "punch" faster than chili powder.  Chances are, the stuff you'll find on the spice aisle at the grocery store isn't much spicier or flavorful than wheat flour!  You're so much better off making your own!  I like to use dried Chipotle or Hatch Chili pods, but you can choose what suits you.  Click the link above for simple directions.  You're welcome!

Start by thawing out, cleaning, and peeling your shrimp.  I doubled the recipe and made two pounds, so I had about 40 large shrimp in my bowl.  Rinse them and drain the water.

Combine your paprika, chili powder, creole or seasoning salt, and garlic powder together in a bowl.  Use a fork to stir until well combined.  Keep your snoot away from the bowl, since good fresh chili powder can mace you a little bit!

Dump the whole load of spices onto your shrimp.  Stir and mix it all together.  It should seem like a LOT of spices.  It is!  Your shrimp should like like they just climbed out from under a red sandy beach.  Shrimp are tough, they can take it.

When they're completely covered with what seems like 2 or 3 coats of spicy goodness, transfer them to a zip-top bag and park them in the fridge for a few hours.

Meanwhile, mix the flour and cornmeal together in a bowl and set it aside.  Mix the eggs and milk together well, and set it next to the flour.  You're setting up a classic fry-station!  If you're a fan of this blog and you are thinking, "Whoa, Ken NEVER deep-fries anything," then you're almost right.  I rarely do.  An honest shrimp po' boy is worth the calories, the mess, and the lingering smell it leaves in your kitchen.  That should tell you something!

Working in batches of 3-5, drop your chili-coated shrimp into the milk mixture, then the flour/meal mixture and coat them well. 

When your basket has 5 shrimp in it, drop them into a 350 degree oil bath.  I used canola oil, just because it fries well, but peanut oil is a fantastic option too, if you don't mind the expense.

Let them cook for two minutes.  Shrimp cook very quickly so don't leave them in longer than that!

Dump the shrimp onto a wire rack with some paper towels under it to soak up the grease.  You want them to drain and cool a little bit.  Notice than they are a shade darker than "golden brown."  That's the chili powder doing it's thing!  They should be a redish colored golden brown!

When the shrimp are cooked and cooling, it's time to get ready to build your sandwich!  I split the hoagie roll in half and toasted the inside with some butter.  Just lay it face down in a pan with some melted butter in it, and let it toast for a minute or two!  Then, layer a healthy amount of mayo on the bottom (by "healthy," I mean "a lot," not "dietarily" healthy), add the sliced tomatoes, and then pile on as many shrimp as you can!  On the other side, heap on your salad/slaw.  Fold it in half, take a deep breath, squish it down a little, and DIG IN!  I know, I know... it's amazing, right?

Cooking Slab Bacon

While doing some routine shopping at Sam's Club the other day, I noticed that they now sell "UN-sliced Bacon!"  I stopped and for a moment, I thought the rapture may have just snapped me up and I was blissfully shopping in Heaven's Sam's Club, with Gabriel, Saint Peter, and somewhere in the offices above, Jesus was now in charge of the meat!

What's better than bacon?  Slabs of bacon.  Deliciously thick, honking, juicy, cubes and slabs of bacon.  Let's do it.

You Will Need:

• 1 2lb block of cured and smoked un-sliced bacon
• Heavy pinches of:
• Chili Powder
• Black Pepper
• Brown Sugar

Preheat your oven to 375 degrees F, and get out a heavy-bottom frying pan (cast iron is great for this).  "An oven and a pan," you say?  Yes, we're going to render a good bit of the fat out, then crisp up the edges!  Just... "Trust me!"  Start with your slab of bacon and cut them into cubes, roughly 1" wide.  This 2lb slab yielded 24 cubes so, you do the math when you break out your knife!

Now, take a regular cookie-sheet and spray it with non-stick cooking spray, add a layer of foil, then place a nice cooking rack on top of the foil.  If you don't have a cooking rack for your cookie-sheets yet, NOW is the perfect time to buy one!  Spray it with non-stick cooking spray too, or you'll spend the rest of the afternoon cleaning it... Arrange your bacon cubes on the rack as shown here.  Give them some space to breath and to embrace the heat!

Cook them for 45 minutes at 375F.  Notice that they're a lot smaller!  Some of them will topple over as they lose their fat.  Aren't they precious?  Also notice that you have a lot of bacon fat in the bottom of the pan... SAVE it!  This is "butter" for so many other dishes.  From soup, to cornbread, frying eggs, and a zillion other things, bacon fat is a miracle of nature.  God bless pigs!

Now, arrange your cubes in a pan.  Sprinkle your spices over the top and set the heat to Medium.  Let them sizzle over Medium heat for 20-25 minutes.  -OR-  Sliding the pan into a pre-heated smoker (200-225F) wouldn't be the worst idea either... You're looking for a nice crispy crust to form, that's not too brown.

When they're ready, carefully flip each one over and reduce the heat to Medium Low.  Let the other side crisp up for another 20 minutes or so.

"But Ken," you say, "That's almost an hour and a half to cook bacon!  Are you sure?"  Yes.  I'm sure.  These beauties are triple thick and you want to make sure the insides have had a chance to render their fat and to get all nice and juicy and piping hot.  You're working nice and slow here over fairly low heat.  You'll be just fine!

When time is mercifully up, slide your baby-slabs into a serving bowl and cover them with foil for a few minutes so they can rest and cool just a touch.  Then, bring this bowl to a pot-luck dinner or set it in front of your guests while you finish their main dish.  Bask, and dance a small jig as they praise you in songs of jubilee!  There will be much rejoicing... When Aunt Ruth brings her green jello casserole to Thanksgiving Supper this year, knock her skinny ass into the dirt with a huge bowl of bacon slabs.  You'll hear applause...

Chili con Queso Stuffed Monkey Bread

What if you made a big pile of "Monkey Bread" with yeast rolls?
And what if you stuffed each roll in the pile with Chorizo and Chili con Queso?!
And what if you served this ridiculous creation with an extra bowl of Queso for dipping!?!?!
That would just be downright "wrong," dirty, naughty, bad for you, fattening, and a wicked slap in the face to every diet on the planet, right???

Right!

So, let's get started!

You Will Need:

• olive oil
• 1.5 lbs fresh Jalapeno Sausage or Chorizo
• 1 yellow onion (diced)
• 2 red bell peppers (finely minced)
• 1 jalapeno pepper (finely minced, membrane and seeds included)
• 2 cups heavy whipping cream
• 1 1/2 pounds Yellow American cheese.  That's 24 slices, everyone knows this... :-)
• 1/2 pound Pepper Jack cheese (shredded)
• 1/2 stick unsalted butter (cut into 1/4-inch cubes, divided, plus extra for greasing)
• 1 (24-count) package frozen yeast rolls (thawed)

Ok, I need to give credit where it's due.  I saw this recipe on TV on a show called "The Chew."  Michael Symon was eating an obscenely cheesy roll and I stopped in my tracks to see, "What's THAT?"  So I tried it.  Here are my results.

First things first, you gotta make the queso!  Why first?  Because it needs to spend the night in the fridge to get stiff enough for you to stuff into the rolls.  So... cook the sausage in a pan and use whatever you have to chop it into a fine crumbly mixture.  I have this nifty ground meat chopper, but you can use whatever you got.  Drain the sausage and pour it into a bowl and set it aside.

Next, prep your veggies.  You basically need a super fine dice of your chilis, onions, etc.  Dump them all into your big spaghetti pot and saute them in some olive oil until they're soft.

Why use your big pot?  Well, once you start adding cheese and stirring it, things get pretty not.  Napalm hot.  You don't want a super hot hunk of half-melted cheese flying out of the pan and onto your arm.  So... give yourself some vertical room.

When the veggies are soft, add the cream.  Things will happen pretty fast from this point forward.  You don't want your cream to scald, so turn the heat down to medium, and get ready to add the cheese.

It helps a LOT if you have your cheese ready ahead of time!  Grab one or two slices at a time, and stir them in until they're melted into the mix.  It won't take long; before you know it, you'll be out of cheese and ready for the next step.

Stir and stir until, well, you know, it's "Queso!"  You may need to test it 5 or 6 times to be sure it's right.  Use chips, it's too hot for fingers!

Pour the cheese into two separate containers.  Why?  Because you'll use one to stuff the rolls with, and the other to serve as a dip with this magnificent creation!

Add your sausage to one of the cheese bowls and stir it in.  Then refrigerate them both for at least 3 or 4 hours.  Overnight is best.

Set your frozen rolls out an hour or so before you're ready to bake, and set your oven to 350 degrees.  Grease a Bundt pan with some butter and get started with the stuffing!  Stretch out a ball of dough and dump in a heavy tablespoon of the sausage-cheese mixture.

Pinch the edges together and BE SERIOUS ABOUT IT!  This little ball will want for all the world to come apart so; pinch hard and well, and often, until you have a nice round ball like this one.  Repeat, 24 times...

Toss your stuffed dough-balls into the Bundt pan and sprinkle your butter cubes on top.  Aren't they the cutest!?  Slide them into the oven for about 45 minutes.

When your house smells like Heaven and the rolls expand, eclipse the top of your pan, and turn golden brown, it's time to pull them out of the oven!

Let the pan sit, un-molested, for ten minutes.  Then, place a platter on top of the pan and quickly flip it over.  BE CAREFUL!  Things are hot, butter is slippery, etc.  You can do this, Wear a trusted pair of oven mitts, grip the edges of the pan and the platter firmly, and FLIP!  Slide the pan away and... VIOLA!  Cheese stuffed Monkey Bread! 

Re-heat the remaining cheese, and pour it into a bowl and set the bowl into the middle of the "tower."  The original recipe actually calls for the extra Queso to be poured directly into the hole!

While I am certainly capable of eating this entire thing, I didn't.  I actually set it out for guests and I walked away!  I was told that the last piece was still warm when it was eaten so, don't figure on this lasting too long...

Sweet and Spicy Bacon Wrapped Chicken

So, I was staring into my refrigerator the other day, hungry as usual.  My stomach and my brain had this interesting conversation (as they often do;  I should charge admission, those conversations get pretty weird).  Here are some snippets that I managed to remember:  "Chicken!  Is that thawed?  Wait... Spicy chicken, that sounds good.. What's this leftover bacon doing in here?  OOOH, Sriracha!  I should probably use these green beans before they get soft, and that spinach has been in there awhile..."  Viola:

While this dish was inspired from a random refrigerator "pull," there's no reason you couldn't cook it yourself!  Delicious, super simple, let's go!

You Will Need:

• 2 Large Skinless Boneless Chicken Breasts
• 1 lb Thinly Sliced Bacon
• 1 Cup Brown Sugar
• 1 Tsp Salt
• 1 Tsp Pepper
• 1 Generous handful of fresh green beans
• 2 Generous handfuls of fresh spinach
• 1 Healthy Squirt of Sriracha hot sauce

Preheat your oven, BBQ, Grill, or Smoker to 375 degrees!

Start with a 13x9" casserole dish.  Wash and trim your green beans to your liking (I like them long) and dump them into the casserole.

Wash your spinach and dry it as best as you can.  Pile it up on top of the green beans.  Don't worry if the pile looks huge, it should!  Spinach is very sneaky and will shrink to almost nothing when it cooks.  So, fear not!  Build yourself a big mountain of spinach greens!

To get the chicken ready, dump the brown sugar, salt, pepper, and Sriracha in a bowl.  Use your fingers, use a fork, whatever... just mix until it's all a nice smooth crumbly mixture.

Now, let's turn our attention to the chicken.  Wash your hands, grab your knife in your dominant hand, and spin the breast around with your other hand as shown.  Cut it, with the grain, into 3 or 4 equal strips.

These were large breasts, so I got four strips out of them.  Yes, I used the words, strip, large, and breasts in one sentence!  Let's all have a chuckle... now, grow up and let's get back to the kitchen!

Take each chicken tender and coat it with the sugar mix.  You can try to use a fork, like I did here, but you'll eventually get frustrated and abandon it so... just accept that you're gonna get sticky and roll and press each breast in the spicy sugar, then wrap it in a strand of thin bacon.

The world loves thick bacon, so; why thin bacon? Well, thin bacon stretches and wraps so much better than thick bacon.  It also crisps up more quickly and requires less cooking time.  The chicken will be done in a relatively short amount of time, and we don't want the chicken in the oven for even a minute longer than necessary so... Thin bacon is the ticket.

Pile all of your wrapped tenders on top of your spinach, pressing down when you have to.  Sprinkle the tops with your favorite BBQ seasoning if you like.  Insert a remote temperature probe into your largest tender, and slide them into the oven.

When your chicken touches 165F, pull the dish out and have a look.  The kitchen should smell interesting... a delicious mix of sweet, spice, bacon, veggies, YUM! 

You can cut into a "test" tender if you want, the juices should run clear, and since we cut them WITH the grain to start with, each tender bite should now go against the grain for a super easy "chew" and easy cutting!

Serve the chicken over a mound of your veggies and dinner is DONE!

Smoked Pork Belly Chicharróns (Pork Rinds)

When most "normal" people hear the words, "Pork Rind," they make a funny face.  Well it's more of a "squeamish" face, actually.  I can't blame them.  When I think "Pork Rinds," I think of convenience stores and bags of puffy plastic looking fried pork skin that is so over-seasoned that "normal" people couldn't even eat them.  BUT, What if you took whole slabs of bacon, with all of that delicious meat and fat, and you left the skin on, and cut it into bite-sized chunks and THEN you gently deep-fried it?  You've an AMAZING snack called a "Chicharrón!"

You Will Need:

• One whole Skin-On Pork Belly, cooked and refrigerated overnight.
• Deep Fat Fryer, pre-heated to 400 degrees

Luckily, more and more stores are selling whole pork bellies these days.  You'll need a whole skin-on pork belly, smoked to perfection and an internal temperature of 190 degrees.  You can use my recipe, here, if you choose, or use any one that you like.  Just place the whole cooked belly into the refrigerator overnight before you proceed.

Place the belly on your cutting board and slice it into planks, just exactly as though you were slicing bacon.  Cut them 1/2" thick.

Then, slice 1/2" cuts from your 1/2" slabs until you have hundreds of gorgeous little bite-sized chunks of the best snacks you'll ever make!

Place them, a handful at a time, into your fry-basket.  Gently drop them into the hot fat and keep your hands, arms, elbows, and anything combustible away from the fray!

When cold pork fat hits hot oil, lots of really cool things happen.  It melts down, and crisps up.  The skin bubbles and gets super crispy.  The meat firms up and develops a nice firm "chew."  So, once they cool down and you can pop them into your mouth, you get a flavorful and amazing crispy chewy snack that melts in your mouth!

Is this a ton of work to go through in order to have a giant basket of amazing pork snacks?  Yes.  Is it worth it?  Yes!  My friend Toney stood tall at the fryer and cooked all of these.  We put them on the table for our Cinco de Mayo party and the next morning, when we were going through the party leftovers, we learned that these had completely disappeared!  We had leftover fajita meat, guacamole, salsa, tortillas, etc, but the Chicharróns completely disappeared.

This made me sad, because I wanted to snack on them for awhile...