Lobster Roll! or "When the Roll is Called up Yonder, I'll have Lobster!"

What's better than this?

At my house, "leftover lobster" is a bit of a myth.  It's just not available.  Ever.  It's like finding a Narwhal horn or a Walrus tusk while you're hunting for sand-dollars on a beach in Florida... NOT going to happen!  SO, when I buy Lobster, I ALWAYS buy an extra one, just to ensure I'll have enough to make a couple of Lobster Rolls the next day.   Why not?  They're AMAZING!  Let's get started:

You Will Need:

• 1.5lbs cooked lobster meat, coarsely chopped
• 1/2 Cup high-quality mayonnaise (check the top shelf at the grocery store)
• 1 Tsp Dill
• 1/2 Cup celery, chopped fine
• 3/4 Bundle, green onions, chopped fine
• Juice of 1 Lemon
• Hoagie Rolls, get them from the bakery!  Nice and crispy on top, soft in the middle

Ok, I'm certain that there are some Lobster Roll "purists" out there from Maine, Connecticut, Maryland, etc.  While I'm aware that there are rules in play, and that your recipes for Lobster Rolls differ from region to region just like your "Clam Chowdahs" do, I present my own recipe here; not to pay respect to one region or another, but simply to present what I think is a super delicious bad-ass recipe that tastes sensational.  Therefore... if you choose bring your uppity attitude from the East Coast with you today, you can dig up a fresh clam from your local beach and suck it!

This all starts with a couple of fresh lobsters.  Pick out a couple of lively lads and bring them home.  I like to work with lobsters that are at least 1.5lbs.  I'll grab 2lb ones if I can.  The bigger ones are easier to work with when it comes time to pluck the meat out.  Also, there's a bit of extra meat on hand for "snacking" while you assemble the dish so... look for the larger ones!

Goodness knows, I love to grill lobster!  But that's another show.  For this recipe, I think it's best to simply steam them.  Get a big pot ready and fill the bottom 2" with salted water and bring it to a boil.

If it bothers you a little when it comes time to say "Goodbye" to these creatures, it may help you to remember that they are fairly closely related to cockroaches.  Definitely more "bug" than "sentient being," they fail to tug on my heart-strings when it's time for them to be dispatched.  Just drop them in the pot and say, "Bye," and put on the lid.  It takes exactly 18 minutes to cook two 2lb lobsters in the steamer.  It's difficult to over-cook them in steam though, so you might want to go to 20 to be 100% sure.  While boiling can result in tougher meat, steaming is fairly bullet-proof.

Pull them out of the pot and let them cool.  Now, think about the presentation of your Lobster Rolls.  Are they for guests, or do you intend to simply build the sandwich and honk it down?  If important people are involved, it's a super nice touch to garnish the sandwich with a full, un-molested lobster claw.  Did you know that lobsters are left or right handed?  The larger crushing claw is the dominant hand.  Most are right handed, I guess I was lucky to get a southpaw!  Anyway, if you pull off the claw and give it a swift "Thwack" with the back of your knife, you should be able to gently pop the shell open and wiggle the claw meat out, whole (if you want).

The rest is easy!  Super easy!  Just extract the tail meat, knuckle meat, and any other meat you have the patience to pull out, and roughly chop it into course "small bite" sized pieces and toss it into a bowl.  Using a rubber spatula, gently add the mayo, and the other ingredients.  Stir and fold carefully, adding a bit of this or that as you see fit.  Park it in the fridge to marinate for at least an hour (better overnight).  When it's time to build the roll, grab a nice hoagie and slice it in half.  Use the "Bagel" setting on your toaster and toast just the inside.  Brush it with melted butter, then scoop on the Lobster Salad!  SOOO Good!  Even better with a nice crisp I.PA.