Monday, August 6, 2018

Chili con Queso Stuffed Monkey Bread

What if you made a big pile of "Monkey Bread" with yeast rolls?
And what if you stuffed each roll in the pile with Chorizo and Chili con Queso?!
And what if you served this ridiculous creation with an extra bowl of Queso for dipping!?!?!
That would just be downright "wrong," dirty, naughty, bad for you, fattening, and a wicked slap in the face to every diet on the planet, right???

Right!


So, let's get started!

You Will Need:
  • olive oil
  • 1.5 lbs fresh Jalapeno Sausage or Chorizo
  • 1 yellow onion (diced)
  • 2 red bell peppers (finely minced)
  • 1 jalapeno pepper (finely minced, membrane and seeds included)
  • 2 cups heavy whipping cream
  • 1 1/2 pounds Yellow American cheese.  That's 24 slices, everyone knows this... :-)
  • 1/2 pound Pepper Jack cheese (shredded)
  • 1/2 stick unsalted butter (cut into 1/4-inch cubes, divided, plus extra for greasing)
  • 1 (24-count) package frozen yeast rolls (thawed)
Ok, I need to give credit where it's due.  I saw this recipe on TV on a show called "The Chew."  Michael Symon was eating an obscenely cheesy roll and I stopped in my tracks to see, "What's THAT?"  So I tried it.  Here are my results.

First things first, you gotta make the queso!  Why first?  Because it needs to spend the night in the fridge to get stiff enough for you to stuff into the rolls.  So... cook the sausage in a pan and use whatever you have to chop it into a fine crumbly mixture.  I have this nifty ground meat chopper, but you can use whatever you got.  Drain the sausage and pour it into a bowl and set it aside.
Next, prep your veggies.  You basically need a super fine dice of your chilis, onions, etc.  Dump them all into your big spaghetti pot and saute them in some olive oil until they're soft.
Why use your big pot?  Well, once you start adding cheese and stirring it, things get pretty not.  Napalm hot.  You don't want a super hot hunk of half-melted cheese flying out of the pan and onto your arm.  So... give yourself some vertical room.
When the veggies are soft, add the cream.  Things will happen pretty fast from this point forward.  You don't want your cream to scald, so turn the heat down to medium, and get ready to add the cheese.
It helps a LOT if you have your cheese ready ahead of time!  Grab one or two slices at a time, and stir them in until they're melted into the mix.  It won't take long; before you know it, you'll be out of cheese and ready for the next step.
Stir and stir until, well, you know, it's "Queso!"  You may need to test it 5 or 6 times to be sure it's right.  Use chips, it's too hot for fingers!
Pour the cheese into two separate containers.  Why?  Because you'll use one to stuff the rolls with, and the other to serve as a dip with this magnificent creation!
Add your sausage to one of the cheese bowls and stir it in.  Then refrigerate them both for at least 3 or 4 hours.  Overnight is best.
Set your frozen rolls out an hour or so before you're ready to bake, and set your oven to 350 degrees.  Grease a Bundt pan with some butter and get started with the stuffing!  Stretch out a ball of dough and dump in a heavy tablespoon of the sausage-cheese mixture.
Pinch the edges together and BE SERIOUS ABOUT IT!  This little ball will want for all the world to come apart so; pinch hard and well, and often, until you have a nice round ball like this one.  Repeat, 24 times...
Toss your stuffed dough-balls into the Bundt pan and sprinkle your butter cubes on top.  Aren't they the cutest!?  Slide them into the oven for about 45 minutes.
When your house smells like Heaven and the rolls expand, eclipse the top of your pan, and turn golden brown, it's time to pull them out of the oven!
Let the pan sit, un-molested, for ten minutes.  Then, place a platter on top of the pan and quickly flip it over.  BE CAREFUL!  Things are hot, butter is slippery, etc.  You can do this, Wear a trusted pair of oven mitts, grip the edges of the pan and the platter firmly, and FLIP!  Slide the pan away and... VIOLA!  Cheese stuffed Monkey Bread! 

Re-heat the remaining cheese, and pour it into a bowl and set the bowl into the middle of the "tower."  The original recipe actually calls for the extra Queso to be poured directly into the hole!

While I am certainly capable of eating this entire thing, I didn't.  I actually set it out for guests and I walked away!  I was told that the last piece was still warm when it was eaten so, don't figure on this lasting too long...