Tuesday, October 23, 2018

Cooking Slab Bacon

While doing some routine shopping at Sam's Club the other day, I noticed that they now sell "UN-sliced Bacon!"  I stopped and for a moment, I thought the rapture may have just snapped me up and I was blissfully shopping in Heaven's Sam's Club, with Gabriel, Saint Peter, and somewhere in the offices above, Jesus was now in charge of the meat!


What's better than bacon?  Slabs of bacon.  Deliciously thick, honking, juicy, cubes and slabs of bacon.  Let's do it.

You Will Need:

  • 1 2lb block of cured and smoked un-sliced bacon
  • Heavy pinches of:
    • Chili Powder
    • Black Pepper
    • Brown Sugar
Preheat your oven to 375 degrees F, and get out a heavy-bottom frying pan (cast iron is great for this).  "An oven and a pan," you say?  Yes, we're going to render a good bit of the fat out, then crisp up the edges!  Just... "Trust me!"  Start with your slab of bacon and cut them into cubes, roughly 1" wide.  This 2lb slab yielded 24 cubes so, you do the math when you break out your knife!

Now, take a regular cookie-sheet and spray it with non-stick cooking spray, add a layer of foil, then place a nice cooking rack on top of the foil.  If you don't have a cooking rack for your cookie-sheets yet, NOW is the perfect time to buy one!  Spray it with non-stick cooking spray too, or you'll spend the rest of the afternoon cleaning it... Arrange your bacon cubes on the rack as shown here.  Give them some space to breath and to embrace the heat!

Cook them for 45 minutes at 375F.  Notice that they're a lot smaller!  Some of them will topple over as they lose their fat.  Aren't they precious?  Also notice that you have a lot of bacon fat in the bottom of the pan... SAVE it!  This is "butter" for so many other dishes.  From soup, to cornbread, frying eggs, and a zillion other things, bacon fat is a miracle of nature.  God bless pigs!

Now, arrange your cubes in a pan.  Sprinkle your spices over the top and set the heat to Medium.  Let them sizzle over Medium heat for 20-25 minutes.  -OR-  Sliding the pan into a pre-heated smoker (200-225F) wouldn't be the worst idea either... You're looking for a nice crispy crust to form, that's not too brown.

When they're ready, carefully flip each one over and reduce the heat to Medium Low.  Let the other side crisp up for another 20 minutes or so.

"But Ken," you say, "That's almost an hour and a half to cook bacon!  Are you sure?"  Yes.  I'm sure.  These beauties are triple thick and you want to make sure the insides have had a chance to render their fat and to get all nice and juicy and piping hot.  You're working nice and slow here over fairly low heat.  You'll be just fine!

When time is mercifully up, slide your baby-slabs into a serving bowl and cover them with foil for a few minutes so they can rest and cool just a touch.  Then, bring this bowl to a pot-luck dinner or set it in front of your guests while you finish their main dish.  Bask, and dance a small jig as they praise you in songs of jubilee!  There will be much rejoicing... When Aunt Ruth brings her green jello casserole to Thanksgiving Supper this year, knock her skinny ass into the dirt with a huge bowl of bacon slabs.  You'll hear applause...