You will need:
- 2 sticks of butter (It's "Good" not necessarily "Good for you")
- 1 small jar of Maraschìno Cherries (with the juice, without the stems)
- 1 Fresh Pineapple, Crushed (A good sweet fresh pineapple should “let go" of its leaves when you “pluck” them, one by one, from on top)
- l bag of dried cherries (they're near the raisins and dried cranberries at the store)
- 12 oz. Good Bourbon (Honestly, use your favorite and not the "cheap stuff" Maker's Mark works well here)
- 2 Cups of dark brown sugar
- 1 tablespoon GOOD Chili powder or Chipotle Chili powder (Preferred)
- 1 teaspoon Kosher Salt
- 1 teaspoon Fresh Ground Black Pepper
- 1 teaspoon Paprika (Smoked Paprika if you can find it)
When you’re ready to cook:
In a heavy sauce pot, melt the butter and brown sugar together over medium heat, stirring until the sugar is melted and you have a wonderfully dark brown caramelly goo. Pour about an ounce of your Bourbon syrup into a shot glass. Drink it. It's been a long Week and you deserve it! Now, pour the rest of the Bourbon/cherry mix, as well as the Maraschino cherries into the pot. Stir to combine, bring to a boil, and then reduce the heat to a bubbling simmer.
Now to the pineapple... Lop off the base and the top of the pineapple, then (using a very sharp knife) cut off the hide until so you have a cute yellow “plug” to work with. The core of the pineapple is hard and fibrous so it has to go. Slice down through the pineapple, around the core, taking as much of the fruit away from the core as possible. Sadly, the sweetest part of the pineapple is right next to the core so it’s worth being extra stingy about it. Coarsely chop the “good stuff" into smaller pieces and dump them all into a large ziplock bag. Suck as much air out of the bag as you can, before you close it. Now, give your kids a large serving spoon and have them BEAT AND CRUSH that pineapple into a coarse pulp. WHACK WHACK WHACK!! (If you feel like drinking more Bourbon syrup at this stage, it is encouraged).
Add the pineapple to the pot and stir to combine. Bring it back up to a gently bubbling simmer and add the spices. Stir. Simmer for about 10 more minutes, then ladle into Mason Jars and screw down the lids. This will yield 6 cups, or about three jars. Use it as a glaze to brush onto your ham, or serve it (warm) as a side sauce for dipping. You could also just leave it in the fridge and not tell anyone about it, and sneak spoonfuls of it late at night, just for fun....