My feeling is, if you have to work your butt off to mold Tofu into a shape that vaguely resembles a turkey, and if you have to infuse the tofu with turkey stock and other chemical additives to make it taste like turkey... Instead of a "Tofurkey" at Thanksgiving, WHY DON'T YOU JUST EAT SOME REAL TURKEY??
I digress. I did my level best to construct an edible Tofu Fajita. Before I tell you how I did it, we need to get some rules straight:
- Do not ever tell me, "It tastes just like chicken, you can't even tell the difference!" If anyone ever tells you that after eating Tofu, they're lying to you, or they burned off their taste buds a long time ago.
- God gave us teeth for a reason. Tofu requires no use of these teeth no matter what you do to it, so do not ever tell me, "The texture, it's just like chicken, you can't even tell the difference!" If anyone ever tells you that, they're lying, or they've never actually bitten into a real chicken.
- I don't condone the use of Tofu. Ever. But if you're in a pinch, and you want to eat something that actually tastes good, and you need protein, and there aren't any chickens around... I'm your man.
Keep this recipe handy. If you're ever kidnapped by over-zealous hippies and dragged back to their commune, you'll need it... At least until they all close their eyes and hold hands to sing "Kumbayah" in a circle, affording you the chance you'll need to escape!
You will need:
- Homemade Pico de Gallo
- Homemade Guacamole
- Grilled onions and Peppers
- Flour Tortillas (Preferably homemade)
- Two fresh Jalapenos
- Three garlic cloves
- Soy Sauce
- Sriricha Sauce
- Sesame Oil
- 1 package "FIRM" Tofu
Be advised. When the package says, "Firm," you should not expect any "Firmness" from the Tofu whatsoever. You could literally suck the entire contents of this package down with a straw, and filter it through your front teeth on its way down. It's a bit like jello that tastes like water and magnesium (only softer). One "Benefit" of Tofu (they say) is that it takes on other flavors as you cook it! I'll never understand that. Personally, I'd rather eat "chicken" than "jello that tastes like chicken" but... we've already been over that.
All in all, I have to say... the Tofu fajita wasn't too bad. It was certainly "edible." If you served me one, I'd eat it. If you pulled the Tofu out, I'd still eat it, but I'd leave the Tofu on the plate.
I suppose Tofu has it's place in the world, but it's place is not at my house. Whenever I mash it up against the roof of my mouth with my tongue to try to taste it, it splits all apart and goos up my whole mouth and I make this face... My wife calls it my, "Oops, someone just sneezed into my mouth and you might have to call 911" face. Your mileage may vary!