Bacon Wrapped Chicken Lollipops

Have you ever been shown a picture that prompts your mouth to start drooling all over the place while your brain says, "Stop everything, I need to eat that!"  Well... May I present a tin of bacon-wrapped Chicken Lollipops, for your consideration?  Here:

If you're bored and tired of the same old Chicken Leg, but you love their sale price, why not jazz your legs up to "Competition Level?"

You will need:

• Chicken Legs
• Dry Rub; equal parts of
• brown sugar
• chili powder
• salt
• pepper
• THINly sliced bacon strips
• Your favorite BBQ sauce
• Apple Cider Vinegar

First, a couple of words about knife safety and bacterial contamination...
Knife safety = Good!
Bacterial contamination = Bad!

This recipe requires a LOT of prep work.  Unfortunately, the more prepping you do, the more careful you have to be about cross-contamination, cutting yourself, etc, etc.  So, if you're right-handed, keep a super sharp knife, a delicious beverage, and a clean pair of needle-nosed pliers on the right-hand side of your cutting board.  Wash your hands, and take hold of the knife with your right hand.  Repeat after me:  "I will NOT touch any chicken with my right hand.  I will only touch my knife, my beverage, and my pliers with my right hand.  I will clean everything with anti-bacterial soap, using both hands, when all of my chicken is prepped and sitting in the pan."

Some of you may struggle with touching or handling raw meat.  This recipe is not for you!  If you're on the fence about it, just take a deep breath, grow a pair, and dive right in!

Now, put all of your chicken on the left side of your board, and place a clean roasting pan for collecting the legs, in the middle.  Begin!  Grab a leg with your left hand, place it on your board, and cut all the way around the bone, just above the ankle.

Use your knife to "shave" a flap of skin down and over the "hinge" of the ankle. 

Here's the fun part, use the pliers and slide one of the "jaws" into the trough that lies between the hinge points of the ankle, and wrestle the "sock" off of the bone.

While you still have the pliers in your right hand (You didn't touch the chicken with your right hand, did you?), grab and firmly tug out all of the white ligaments, and that little "spike" bone that we all find when we eat chicken legs.  There are 4 ligaments to yank, and that one bone to pull out.  This step isn't totally necessary, but if you're cooking in a competition, you'll score poorly if you don't do it.  Also, your family will appreciate the effort when they eat these, so your patience will be rewarded.  Don't worry if it takes you 20 minutes to prep your first leg.  You'll get faster, I promise!

Now, grab the meat of the leg in your left hand and anchor it to the cutting board,  Pick up a paper-towel with your right hand, and use it to grip the end of the bone.  Pull the bone up and around in a circle while anchoring the meat down to the board.  This will ball the meat up into a sphere and keep it collected so that it will stand up in the pan.





Now, go to the sink and wash your hands, knife, pliers, board, and wipe down the area around your cutting board with some anti-bacterial wipes.  Why wash now?  Cross-contamination... that's why.  You don't want to open your fridge, grab your bacon, or refill your beverage with chicken goo on your hands...

When things are clean, go get your pack of thin-cut bacon out of the fridge, and collect your dry rub.  Liberally shake your dry rub all over the meat portion of your lollipops (try to keep the bones clean).  Then wrap each one with one slice of bacon.  Line them up in the pan, and wash your hands, prep station, etc, for the last time.  Why "thin" bacon?  Well, thin bacon is more malleable, and it's easier to work with.  Also, it will add a hint of bacon flavor without overpowering the chicken.

Finally, wrap a small bit of foil around each bone, so they'll stay nice and clean during the cooking process.


Time to cook!  Personally, I prefer to smoke them at about 275 degrees for two hours, or until the inside of each leg touches 165 degrees. 

At 165, take out the pan and dip each lollipop into a mixture of 2 parts bbq sauce to 1 part cider vinegar.  No need to brush or mop the sauce on, just dip each leg and set them gently back into the pan.  Put the pan back into the smoker (or oven, grill, whatever you're using to cook) and bring the legs up to 175.  This will "set" the sauce into a nice flavorful coating that won't run all over the place.  Take the foil off of the bones while they rest for a few minutes, and serve.

Are these a lot of work?  Yes.  Is hard work generally rewarded?  YES!  I smoked these, using apple-wood.  You could certainly use the indirect method of cooking on a charcoal grill, or a (*sigh*) propane grill, too.  Just be sure to monitor the temperature of the legs.

What? Did you say, "TOFU Fajitas??"

*SIGH* Tofu.  Billions of Asian people who eat this stuff can't be wrong, can they?  There is a very small group of vegetarians who picket my castle door from time to time (they're harmless, really, being afraid of guns, too), demanding that I give Tofu a "Fair Shake."

My feeling is, if you have to work your butt off to mold Tofu into a shape that vaguely resembles a turkey, and if you have to infuse the tofu with turkey stock and other chemical additives to make it taste like turkey... Instead of a "Tofurkey" at Thanksgiving, WHY DON'T YOU JUST EAT SOME REAL TURKEY??

I digress.  I did my level best to construct an edible Tofu Fajita.  Before I tell you how I did it, we need to get some rules straight:

1. Do not ever tell me, "It tastes just like chicken, you can't even tell the difference!"  If anyone ever tells you that after eating Tofu, they're lying to you, or they burned off their taste buds a long time ago.
2. God gave us teeth for a reason.  Tofu requires no use of these teeth no matter what you do to it, so do not ever tell me, "The texture, it's just like chicken, you can't even tell the difference!"  If anyone ever tells you that, they're lying, or they've never actually bitten into a real chicken.
3. I don't condone the use of Tofu.  Ever.  But if you're in a pinch, and you want to eat something that actually tastes good, and you need protein, and there aren't any chickens around... I'm your man.  

Keep this recipe handy.  If you're ever kidnapped by over-zealous hippies and dragged back to their commune, you'll need it... At least until they all close their eyes and hold hands to sing "Kumbayah" in a circle, affording you the chance you'll need to escape!

You will need:

• Homemade Pico de Gallo
• Homemade Guacamole
• Grilled onions and Peppers
• Flour Tortillas (Preferably homemade)
• Two fresh Jalapenos
• Three garlic cloves
• Soy Sauce
• Sriricha Sauce
• Sesame Oil
• 1 package "FIRM" Tofu

I cooked and assembled this recipe alongside some grilled chicken, so everyone who reads this can do their own comparison and make up their own minds about what they might like.  Each fajita (the chicken, and the tofu version) were identically assembled.

Be advised.  When the package says, "Firm," you should not expect any "Firmness" from the Tofu whatsoever.  You could literally suck the entire contents of this package down with a straw, and filter it through your front teeth on its way down.  It's a bit like jello that tastes like water and magnesium (only softer).  One "Benefit" of Tofu (they say) is that it takes on other flavors as you cook it!  I'll never understand that.  Personally, I'd rather eat "chicken" than "jello that tastes like chicken" but... we've already been over that.

Since this Tofu wasn't anywhere near "Firm" in my book, I placed the block on a stack of paper-towels and I put a heavy dessert plate on top of it and walked away for a few hours.  I managed to press a lot more water out of it, and it got firmer, but who are we trying to kid?  This stuff will never be so firm that you might have to cut it with a knife.  I daresay, that I could cut the firmest Tofu with a single Kleenex.  Do the best you can, and firm it up.  Then, slice it into hunks that might resemble slices of grilled chicken.

Dice your Jalapeno and garlic and saute them in a pool of sesame oil in a non-stick pan.  When the oil is good and hot and you've cooked down your veggies, add the tofu.  Liberally season with salt and pepper, and add some Sriracha and about a tablespoon of soy.  Toss the Tofu around in the pan, and stir-fry it until all four sides of each "plank" are golden brown.  The best you can hope for here is a moderately chewy outside, and a mushy gelatinized goo in the middle that tastes vaguely of garlic, jalapeno, and sesame.  Add about 1/2 cup of chicken stock if you want to add some chicken flavor, just don't do it when the hippies are watching because they might freak out.. Tell them to go and take a shower or something.  And tell them to USE DEODERANT this time!

Here is my finished Tofu, stacked inside a nice homemade flour tortilla, with some guacamole, fresh Pico, and some grilled peppers and onions.  Below, on the left, you'll see the identical dish, constructed with grilled chicken...

This is a lovely chicken fajita!  Something you could really sink your teeth into!  Lean, low in fat, high in protein, deliciously cooked over a wood fire and pulled from the heat at 165 degrees before being sliced and devoured.

Here, you see both fajitas, after I've taken a test bite out of them.  Ok, well, I admit to taking three or four test bites out of the real chicken one (on the right, in the picture) because it was absolutely delicious!  The Tofu fajita had the texture of a "mashed potato" fajita, only much softer.  It tasted of guacamole, fresh garden salsa, and it had a hint of "stir fry" aroma with the distant bite of Sriracha.

All in all, I have to say... the Tofu fajita wasn't too bad.  It was certainly "edible."  If you served me one, I'd eat it.  If you pulled the Tofu out, I'd still eat it, but I'd leave the Tofu on the plate.

I suppose Tofu has it's place in the world, but it's place is not at my house.  Whenever I mash it up against the roof of my mouth with my tongue to try to taste it, it splits all apart and goos up my whole mouth and I make this face... My wife calls it my, "Oops, someone just sneezed into my mouth and you might have to call 911" face.  Your mileage may vary!

Brining and Slow Smoking Chicken, like a Boss!

What is "Brining?"  You hear that term around the cooking world today, "Brining."  Actually, "brining" isn't even a word, but then "Googling" isn't a word either, yet it's rapidly climbing the list of "most used words that aren't words" chart.  Simply stated, a "Brine" is a solution of water and salt.  Making the decision to immerse whole chickens into a brine solution, leaving them overnight in your garage, and then to cook and serving them to your family is, well, "Courageous!"  But it will yield the juiciest and most flavorful bird you've ever sunk your teeth into, I promise!

You Will Need:

For the Brine:

• 1.5 Gallons of clean cold water
• 2 Quarts of Boiling water
• 2 Cups "Pickling" Salt (There is nothing special about pickling salt, but it's "finer" so it dissolves more easily in liquid)
• 2 Cups of Sugar
• 2 small commercial bags of ice (5lbs each)

For the Chicken:

• 2 or 3 Whole chickens

For the Rub:

• 1 big shaker full of equal parts of:
• Brown Sugar
• Kosher Salt
• Ground Pepper
• Chili Powder
• Smoked Paprika

Ok, after you cook your chicken, you'll be so convinced that "brining" is the way to go, that you'll want to brine pretty much everything in site, like turkeys, more chickens, Cornish hens, ducks, your children, etc.  I recommend buying a 5-gallon bucket that you dedicate to brining turkey.  It's helpful to buy one with a spout on the bottom, but not necessary.  I labeled it and thus, my "Turkey Bucket" was born!  Nobody uses this bucket to mop floors, clean toilets, weed gardens, or whatever, it is exclusively used to brine birds.  Dump your cold water into the bucket.  Meanwhile, mix your salt and sugar into the boiling water and stir it until it dissolves.  Now poor the dissolved salt/sugar water into the bucket with the rest of your water and park it somewhere cool like a fridge, or your basement, or in a bathroom next to an A/C vent.  Presto... You now have 2 gallons of brine.  Now, prepare your birds!

Wash, rinse, and pat your birds dry.  Cut the spines out with some kitchen shears, and cut the birds in half, from top to bottom.  When your brine water is completely cool (or at least room temperature), drop all of your bird parts into the water.  I know, I know... "Gross!"  Not really, though.  Consider that the salt will go a long way toward the removal of any nasty bacteria.  Also, we plan to further complicate the lives of the single-celled bad guys by making it very cold.

Dump one of the bags of ice on top of the birds, and then rest the second bag of ice, unopened, on top of the ice that you dumped into the bucket.  Snap on the lid to the bucket, and walk away.  Be sure it's in a 68 degree environment, or cooler.  We want the chicken to swim around in salt water that is 36 degrees (or colder) to be safe.  Leave the chicken alone in the brine for 12 hours.  If you're brining a 20lb turkey, leave it in for 24!  Either way, the ice should keep things way cold enough for the duration.

So, what's going on in there?  A lot of chemistry, that's what!  The increased salinity of the fluid around the meat cells causes the cells to absorb more water from the brine via osmosis. The salt introduced into the cells also changes the protein inside.  The denatured protein forms a matrix that traps water, holding onto it during the cooking process.  Result?  A super juicy bird! (Thank you Wikipedia!)

When 12 hours is over, open the tap in the bottom of your bucket and drain the brine into the sink.  Hopefully, you have some chunks of ice left floating in there.  This tells you that you've been successful in your attempt to quell the invading hoards of ruthless bacteria by freezing them to death.  Pull the bird halves out of the brine, drain them over the bucket, and lay them out for preparation.

Rub them all down with some olive oil and sprinkle on your dry rub.  Remember to lift the wing and rub the armpits!  The wing flapper covers 1/2 the breast, so don't forget this step!

Once they're all seasoned, bring your smoker's temperature up to 250 degrees and line your birds up for their final march.  Close the lid and leave them in there, at 250, for at least 4 hours.  Then take their temperature.  The breasts should be 160 and the thighs 175.  Move or adjust your birds around the grill, relative to the heat source, as necessary for proper cooking/heating.  When they're done, take them off and cover them to rest for 20 minutes.


When you're ready to serve, a simple quick slice of the knife will separate the breast/wing "white meat" half from the thigh/leg "dark meat" half.  Then, I like to use my kitchen shears to cut the breasts in half, if they're fairly large.  Also, the shears work miracles in separating the leg from the thigh, if you want to go that route.

You'll find your chicken to be insanely juicy, but the real payoff is later, when you reheat the leftovers.  This chicken is just as juicy the second time around as it is the first!  It also makes incredible chicken salad, chicken quesadillas, burritos, or grilled chicken and cheese sandwiches!

Red Velvet Cake; It's All About the Frosting!

Since I was a young boy, my Aunt Edna would make me a 4 layer Red Velvet cake on my birthday.  It was exquisite and awesome, and I blame dear Edna for introducing me to "high class" desserts long before I should have been.  I rarely ever saw Red Velvet Cake during my teen and adult years because it wasn't exactly "in fashion" and as Edna would tell you, "It ain't easy to make, kid!"  Today, you can't walk down the street without tripping over a Red Velvet cake, cupcake, ice cream bar, or even an M&M!

This makes me incredibly sad.  Why sad?  Because the popular "take" on RVC is miles away from the original.  The first RVC in America was created by the head pastry chef at the Waldorf-Astoria Hotel in NYC.  Recipes for the cake differ widely in ingredients (some even call for "Beet Juice" to color the cake, first introduced when food was rationed during WWII), but the frosting is what makes this cake extra special.

This is where I take issue!  The "Convenient" way to make anything "Red Velvet" today is to dump a bunch of Cream Cheese frosting on it.  WRONG!  Worse, they use CHEAP Cream Cheese frosting, loaded with high-fructose corn syrup or other ridiculous 5 syllable ingredients....NO!

NO, NO, NO, NO NO NOO!!!

Personally, I don't care how you build your Red Velvet Cake.  Buy it in a box, google it, whatever.  What I care about, and I care about it deeply, is the frosting.  I care deeply enough to reject a RVC that you might bring me on my birthday if not done correctly (sorry).

Edna was kind enough to give me the faded blue index card that had her RVC recipe on it and you can pry it away from me when I'm dead and gone.  Edna is gone now (bless her heart and soul) and I would not dishonor her by giving you all her cake recipe (it's stupendous and I plan to win a gold medal at the fair someday with it).  I will, however, give you the frosting recipe, since it's all that is right and good and pure and righteous when it comes to RVC.

Do *NOT* make substitutions with this recipe.  Do it right, or don't do it at all:

You Will Need:

• 3 Tbsp All Purpose Flour
• 1 Cup whole milk
• 1 Cup sugar
• 1 Tsp good vanilla
• 1 Cup butter, softened (must be butter)

Add the milk to the flour slowly, using a whisk.  It's helpful to have a 2nd helper to sprinkle the flour in while you do the whisking.  This will avoid lumps.  You're making a French Bechemel sauce, which is a base to most French sauces and is used in everything from cheese fondue, to... well, cake frosting.  

Cook the flour/milk mixture slowly over medium heat until very thick, stirring constantly.  You'll be tempted to put the whisk down and to walk away.  Don't do it!  That's when it will grab the bottom of the pan, burn, and crawl up and over the sides.  Use a double-boiler if you have one.

When it's good and thick, take it off the heat and allow it to cool completely, to room temperature.

Meanwhile, cream the sugar, butter and vanilla together with an electric mixer until it's fluffy.  Then, slowly add it to the cooked mixture with a rubber spatula.  Now, put the whole mix back under the electric mixer and kick it into high gear until it's all fluffy and ready to frost a cake.

Keep any leftover frosting (yeah, right... like there's gonna be leftovers.  Please.). in the refrigerator.  Also, keep the RVC in the fridge after you frost it!!  The frosting is little more than a sweetened "sauce" and it will break down on you at room temperature.  In fact, you may want to cool it down significantly before you frost the cake!

Crunchy Garlic Shrimp Fried Rice

Have you ever "Cooked from the Hip" with whatever you happen to have left in your fridge or freezer?  That's what I did yesterday, and it turned out well!  My only issue is, I failed to take any pictures of the process... What to do, what to do?  I decided the recipe was good enough to share without photos, so please forgive me. I did take this one:

You Will Need:

• 1lb of jumbo, uncooked shrimp (thawed out, cleaned, and rinsed)
• 4 Servings of white rice (that's 1 Cup of uncooked white rice, or a quart of leftover white rice from Chinese take-out)
• 1 stick of butter
• 1 small onion, diced
• 2 Tbsp Bacon Fat
• A/P Flour (3/4 cup or so)
• 4 Tbsp minced garlic
• Tony Chachere's Creole Seasoning
• Soy Sauce
• One Large Egg

Before you start

Place one whole stick of butter in a saute pan, add the garlic, and turn the heat to "LOW."  Walk away while this slowly melts, and then sweats the garlic.  Give this at least 20 minutes to work.

For the Rice

Cook the rice in a non-stick pot and when it's done and still hot, add the onion and the bacon fat and stir it all up over medium-high heat.  Check it and stir it some more, every 5 minutes or so.  Add a generous shake of soy sauce.  Stir.  When you start to see some of the rice turning a golden brown and getting just a little bit "crunchy," add the egg and stir it in.  Cover, reduce the heat to "Low" and turn your attention to the Shrimp.

For the Shrimp

Put all of the shrimp into a bowl and drizzle a very small amount of olive oil over them.  Shake on a good helping of Tony's creole seasoning and stir them all in the bowl.  Drain well, and dump the shrimp into a zip-top bag.  Add the flour.  Shake, shake, shake!  WAIT, zip the bag closed first, THEN shake, shake, shake (that was close)!  Turn up the heat on the garlic/butter mix in the saute pan to Med/High.  Wait until the butter starts to bubble and pop, then gently take the shrimp out of the bag, one at a time, and lay them into the garlic mix.  Let them saute for two minutes, then flip them over.

Assemble the Dish

Pour the rice out onto a large platter and spread it around.  Use a slotted spatula to gently take the shrimp out of the pan and arrange them over the rice.  Drizzle what's left of the garlic butter "fond" in the pan, over the platter and garnish with some chopped green onions and some Sriracha sauce!

Sweet Rhubarb and Sour Cream Pie!

If you ask a Minnesotan, "Why do you live there, in the frozen tundra?"  He'll likely tell you that, "The Spring, Summer, and Fall are fantastic!"  It's early Summer here in the Great North and that means several things:

• 72 degree days
• 60 degree overnights
• Windows open
• Flowers everywhere
• Fresh Asparagus
• Fresh RHUBARB!

I love Rhubarb.  I used to pick it and eat it straight out of my grandmother's garden (she hated that).  While I love it raw and sour, most people like it sweet and at this time of year, you'll see a ton of rhubarb crisps, crumbles, and strudels at your church socials.  I took it up a notch!  "Is it possible," I wondered, "to bake rhubarb into a sweet cream pie?  and to put the crisp, crumble, or strudel on TOP?"

It is.......

 

You Will Need:

• 1 (9 inch) Frozen unbaked pie crust
• 3 1/2 Cups chopped fresh rhubarb (1/4" dice)
• 1 Egg
• 1 1/2 cups white sugar
• 1 Cup sour cream
• 1/3 Cup all-purpose flour (for the pie), plus another 1/2 Cup of all-purpose flour (topping)
• 1/2 Cup brown sugar
• 1/4 Cup butter, melted but not "hot"

Preheat your oven to 450!!  Now, pour yourself a large, cold, summer-time, adult beverage for courage and fortification.  Keep it handy...

Start with your frozen pie crust.  By the way, not all frozen pie crusts are equal!  Pillsbury crusts always bake up very tender and flaky for me, others... not so much.  Jab a fork into the bottom and sides of the crust a bunch of times to vent steam while it bakes, and set the crust(s) aside to thaw completely.  Thawing the crust is important!  If you don't, you'll end up with a soggy bottom to the crust when the pie is done and nobody likes a soggy bottom...

Now, wash your rhubarb thoroughly in cold water.  Cut the leafy tops the and the flared bottoms off and discard them (they're tough and yucky).  Now dice the stalks into small chunks and pour them directly into your pie crusts.  You'll be surprised how much rhubarb it takes to make 3.5 Cups!   I know I was... I needed almost 11 cups (3 pies worth) and despite having what I thought to be a "mother-load" of rhubarb, I had to go back to the store so... get a LOT!   Note also, the frequent "use" of the adult beverage.

In a large(ish) mixing bowl, combine the 1/3 Cup of flour, the egg, the white sugar, and the sour cream.  Mix it together, slowly!  Why "slowly?"  Because the flour wants nothing more than to leap out of the bowl and to fly all over your kitchen!  That's rude. BAD flour!  I used a ball-whisk and slowly increased the rpm until I had a nice smooth and creamy mixture to pour over the rhubarb.  Pour the the creamy mixture over the rhubarb... Have a sip of your beverage.

You might want to use a spatula to gently press the mixture down and in amongst the rhubarb.  Relax for about 5 minutes with your beverage, as the mix slowly seeps in and amongst the stubborn chunks at the bottom.  Give the pie a jiggle or two to force the integration, use a school bus if necessary!  (Not really, that was a joke and probably an inappropriate one, but it was funny to me, in my kitchen.  With my beverage...).

Now, "Let's get crumbly!"  Mix the 1/2 Cup flour with the brown sugar, using a whisk, until you have a homogeneous mixture that looks like beach sand.  Slowly drizzle in the warm melted butter and keep whisking away until you have a nice brown crumbly mixture of heavenly goodness.  

Warm heavenly goodness looks like this.  It should feel like wet sand, and it should crumble, easily, when you use your fingers to break it up.

Sprinkle the crumbly heavenly goodness all over your pie.  Feel free to make additional goodness to pile onto the pie or to eat with a spoon!  Note the dwindling supply of my beverage.

Time to bake!!  Slide your pie(s) into the center of the oven.  Yes, I know that 450 is super hot, but you'll only bake the pie at 450 for 15 minutes.  Set a timer... If the pie sits in a 450 oven longer than that, it will burn and that's bad.  The initial "heat shock" is to give the pie crust a healthy head start.  After 15 minutes, drop the temperature of the oven to 350 and leave the pie in the oven for another 40 minutes.  It will grow a little puffy, which is nice.  It will look like this!

The hardest part of the whole procedure is pulling the pie out and letting it cool, but it must be done.  Resist the urge to cool it in the fridge for a faster "oven to mouth" experience, the crust needs that extra time with the hot filling to properly solidify their relationship.  Leave the pie(s) on the counter for at least two hours before refrigeration.

Slicing the pie should result in a firmly set, creamy custard, loaded with sweet/tart rhubarby goodness, in a tender (yet flaky) crust!  Hell to the YUM!  If your beverage isn't empty yet, well... it's been three hours.  Get your head in the game!

General Tips and Secrets for Great Grilling and Cooking with Fire

I suppose that entire encyclopedias have been written about "How to Grill Like a Pro" or "How to Master Your Outdoor Grill," etc.  I'm not trying to change the world here, but I feel like I have two or three cents worth of experience to add.  I've stood as the Pit-Master and logged thousands of hours of "cook time" in front of grills and smokers that range in size from a 4-burger "Tailgate Special" to the behemoth monsters in stainless steel kitchens that could feed 500+ hungry Texans some smoked brisket for lunch. 

I'm not trying to recruit an army of BBQ professionals to fly over to Afghanistan to feed all of the troops or anything (yet... because that would be awesome), but I smile whenever someone I've helped in the past calls to tell me, "Hey, my brisket/pork/chicken was great last night and my family loves me!"

I'm aware that this is a "Blog" and not a "Novel" so I'll try to keep this short.  Here's the cliff notes if you don't have the time to read the whole article:

1. Temperature is EVERYTHING!
2. Temperature is STILL everything!
3. Charcoal, not Propane.  Just do it.
4. If you must use Propane, FIX IT!
5. The order of Meat on a grill.
6. Rarely put anything right over the fire!

Let's elaborate:

Temperature is EVERYTHING!

It's true.  Most people don't know this, but when you buy a new oven, there is a whole chapter in the instructions on how to calibrate your oven.  Right out of the box, an oven may or may not hit the target temperature that you set for it... probably not.  Smart people take the time to adjust it so when they bake cookies at 350, for example, the temperature in the oven matches what the display says... "350."  The cookies are cooked through, on time, etc.  When you cook with fire, temperatures around your grill are going to range from 200 to 700 degrees so it is critical that you learn just how hot various parts of your equipment will get!  Invest in some equipment that will keep you apprised of exactly what's going on inside your grill.  Your food (and your guests) will thank you.  Most of what you cook is actually "roasted" or "baked" in your grill and not "grilled" directly over the fire so, it's important to build the right environment for cooking or smoking.

Learn your grill's environment.  What I mean is, you'll encounter a recipe (for example) that calls for "225 degrees for an hour per pound" or something.  Well, where is your grill 225 and under what circumstances?  If the temperature falls below 200, what's the quickest way to heat it back up?  I know my smoker responds instantly to the damper.  If I open it another inch, the response on my thermometer is instant!  The heat will climb another 15 degrees.  Of course, my fire will burn out more quickly... but this is to be expected if I'm trying to smoke some pork shoulders in January, vs. July.

Temperature is STILL everything!

As important as it is to know how hot your grill is, it is paramount to know when your food is done!  A chicken breast is "done," delicious, juicy, and tender at 160 degrees.  That same chicken breast is a flavorless dry "puck" of poultry 15 degrees later at 175 so... stop over-grilling everything to "make it safe!"  A dear friend of ours likes to buy those rotisserie chickens from the store, and then take them home to grill them because "they're so soft, they can't possibly be done."  *sigh*  I assure you, they ARE done, and they're "soft" because they're not over-done!  Get yourself a good "Instant Read" thermometer.  I can tell you from experience that you get your money's worth from these units.  A $10 unit will take almost a minute to give you a reading, and it will still be +/-8 degrees off and it will last you a summer or two.  A $90 unit will take 3 seconds to give you a scientifically hyper-accurate reading, and will be the last unit you ever buy.  Pick your poison.

I put food on the grill once it hits room temperature.  If you put it on the grill straight from the fridge, you'll burn the outside before the inside ever gets done.  Take your food out of the fridge and let it rest on the counter to "cook" up to room temperature first.  Then cook it, then pull it off the grill.  I pull food off the grill once they hit the following temps:
White Meat Chicken: 160
Dark Meat Chicken: 170
Pork Chops: 140
Steak: 120
Burgers: 140
Sausages: 140
Big Meats (Shoulders, Briskets, ribs, etc): 190, but only because it takes that kind of heat to break down the connective and "chewier" tissues.

Charcoal, not Propane.  Just do it. 

I'm not against propane, per se, you absolutely can not beat it's convenience.  Push a button... fire.  To grill with charcoal requires at least a 45 minute lead time before you're cooking, and you will get your hands dirty.  With propane, you walk out and push a button... <click> <BWOOOF>, done.  However, you'll never, never, ever get the same flavor out of a propane grill that you get with charcoal or wood; no matter how many "flavor baffles" your grill might have.  Period.  I've been smoking my pork shoulders with Apple wood lately... oh my!  Can't get that flavor with Propane.

So, if you want to impart smoke and flavor to your food, get a charcoal grill.  Then get some lump charcoal (burns hotter with less ash) and some chunks of wood (Mesquite or Hickory to start with).  I might even suggest, even if you have a multi-thousand dollar super-grill, that you spend $100 at a garage sale and hide a small charcoal unit in your backyard somewhere to experiment with.  You'll be converted in a season or two.

If you insist on propane, fix it! 

I have a buddy who was amazed that the "Searing Station" on his new propane grill fired all the way up to a ridiculous 1,500 degrees.  Seriously, it melted the decorative trim around the outside of the grill.  That's more than double what you would ever need to put a good sear on a steak.  A few inches over open flame is about 500 degrees in a normal grill so, he had some adjusting to do.  Turns out, he had the regulator valve on his propane tank all the way, "wide," open!  I suggest that you take a trip out to your grill and take its temperature, adjusting all of the propane valves to where they are supposed to be for the burners to operate properly.  This is basically the same procedure as calibrating your oven!  Dial up or down as necessary.  When you adjust your burner to "Medium," you want "Medium heat!"

The order of meat on the grill.

Most people want to pull all of the meat off of the grill at the same time, so they can serve it all to their guests at dinner.  You can't tell your grandmother, for instance, "You have to wait, Gramma, because you wanted chicken and that takes longer!"  Super thin burgers will be done twice as fast as thick steaks, and stuffed pork chops roast up more quickly than stuffed chicken breasts, etc (see temperature chart, above).  There are lots of variables here, grill temp, type of meat, starting temp, etc.  My advice is to keep a generous "warm spot" on the grill that's not near the flame.  Apply your food to the grill according to how long it should take to cook (longest first).  Keep a close eye on everything (with your temp probe) and move stuff to the warming area when it gets close to its target temperature.  Move slower meats to the hot zone, etc.  My secret?  I almost always move everything to the warming zone before I put the steaks over the fire.  Steaks are sacred (and expensive) and they deserve your full attention.  They cook quickly so there is very little danger of anything in the warming area overcooking.

Rarely put anything directly over the fire!

Fire is hot.  The only thing with enough fortitude and muscle to stand up to 500+ degrees is a thick steak.  Unless you're ready to advance to the time honored Cajun method of blackening food (not for rookies), most of your food should cook "near" the flame, and with the door to the grill closed!  Propane grillers should stick to Medium flame adjustment.  Hotdogs are so much better if you let them come up to temperature slowly, without charring the outside.  Chicken skin should be crispy, not burnt, and pork chops retain so much more of their juices when cooked more slowly.  The fat in sausages or hot links should be slowly rendered into flavorful juice and the casing should not be burned through (or poked with a pair of BBQ forks).  This gives sausages that wonderful <SNAP> when you bit into them.  Learn how hot your grill is... Most foods cook with much more flavor when they they "roast" or "bake" in a closed grill at 375 to 400 degrees.

Good luck, and happy grilling!!